Red Robin: I don’t know. Following you to a bad part of town and saving your life. You know, the usual. Your turn.
So…
Once in a while I’ll come across a comment or two on my posts asking where so-and-so is or why so-and-so isn’t included in them. And I’m grateful because none of them have been rude so far; to me, they sound more like outcries from fans who just want their beloved (and perhaps underappreciated) characters to get more recognition.
Though I understand where they’re coming from, here’s the thing: a lot of you are probably more well-versed in comic canon than I am.
One of the reasons I’m partial to certain characters is because they’re the ones I first encountered when I started reading comics and whose core “personalities” really stuck with me. I’ve gotten to know them more intimately than others and tend to read more about them. It’s kind of like discovering a TV show that really resonates with you; it can keep you from checking out other shows because you’re so preoccupied watching it.
(And I’m really not fond of writing about anything that I don’t know much about because it feels like cheating to me, if that makes sense.)
That being said, once in a while, I’ll come across an incorrect quote or think up a scenario that makes me go, “Oh, I think I might know this character that I rarely write about enough to include him or her in this”. And that’s when I really run with it because it brings me joy to make posts with a big-family feel.
So… You’ll have to forgive me if you don’t see a lot of your favorite character on here. (Trust me, it’s probably better that way until I get back to reading comics more consistently again.)
I do appreciate your comments (and will, once in a while, even stalk reblogs just to read the tags on them *snickers unashamedly*).
Alfred: *walks into the Batcave carrying a tray of cookies*
Alfred:
Alfred: Master Bruce, is everything alright?
Batman: *looks up for a second* Oh. Alfred.
Alfred: *frowns suspiciously*
Batman: *distractedly* Uh, Alps. Mission. With Clark.
Alfred: *looks at the Batcomputer screen displaying a Tumblr page*
Batman: I’ve been doing some research on optimal wilderness disguises.
Alfred: *watching silently as his vigilante son, donning a yellow cowl, pulls at tight spots on his snow-colored suit and flips its matching furry cape, using the Batmobile’s reflective surface as a mirror*
Alfred: *leaves the tray on Bruce’s work table and proceeds to walk out, grinning* Then I shall leave you to it.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
@xellexavierxau, looks like someone liked your idea.
SOMEONE NEEDS TO DRAW THIS ITS SO CUTE
Me: *whispering to @nanna-the-batmum * I was actually thinking the same thing – *does a double-take*
Red Hood: *holding up a hand-painted sign saying “WANTED: artist willing to draw Bruce in a fluffy, white Batsuit, REWARD: 1 BILLION DOLLARS”*
Me: Jason, we can’t afford that –
Nightwing: *empties his piggy bank onto the kitchen table* Savings from my days as a police officer.
Red Robin: *writes a check* Savings from my days as CEO of Wayne Enterprises.
Robin: *takes out a thick wad of cash from his utility belt* Spare change.
Red Hood: *clicks on a banking app on his phone* And a liiiiittle bit more from Bruce’s days as Bruce Wayne.
“Oh, those glass shards on my back? I get them all the time. No biggie. Hey, do you guys serve cereal?”
The staff love checking him ou – er, checking up on him.
Regales them with stories of past injuries, which none of them can believe are even possible (”Then how are you still alive?”)
Jason
Fake ID (since, you know, legally dead and all)
Wheeled into the hospital room by 5 AM, out through the window in a hospital gown and onto a waiting motorcycle by 5:15 AM
Tim:
Double-checks every diagnosis and every medication and cross-references them with similar cases in the city (and occasionally schools whomever is unfortunate enough to check up on him)
Who knows how pure liquid caffeine got injected into his IV bottle?
Damian:
“You call this food? My father will buy this place!”
Physical examination? You might as well put your hand inside a Tasmanian devil’s tunnel.
Batman: I have it on good authority that you’ve been posting these, quote-unquote, incorrect quotes about our family on this so-called… *narrows his eyes* Tumblr.
Me: *blinks*
Me: *shuddering slightly* Well, see, Mr. Batman, um,Sir Wayne, uh, Batwayne –
Nightwing: *gets up from his chair and hugs me tightly*
Me: Oh! Oh, okay. Wow. Thanks? So, um, do you have a question or… ?
Nightwing: *shakes his head and grins at me* I just wanted to lighten the mood. You know how our father tends to blur the line between an interview and an interrog–
Red Hood: *clears his throat loudly*
Red Hood: Why, um… Why the heck do you call me *reading something scribbled on his palm* “Big Brother of the Year”?
Me: Well, see, Jay, even though you see yourself as the “black sheep” of the family, I do believe that there’s some goodness in your heart and that you do care very much about them. I think Croc said it best: you’re a good kid trying to be bad, and – Are you okay?
Red Hood’s Helmet: – bZzt bzZt –
Me: Your helmet’s… There’s smoke coming out of your –
Red Hood: *gets up from his seat and speed-walks out of the room*
Me: Did I say something wrong?
Red Robin: No. His tears must’ve fried the circuits in his helmet. Anyway, is this where you live? *shows me a map on his tablet with coordinates to my residence*
Me: *wide-eyed* How’d you – ?
Red Robin: Don’t worry about it. Now, my real question is, is there a lot of coffee where you’re from?
Me: Well –
Red Robin: Like really strong cofee? *zooming in and out of the map* For some reason, I can’t get intel –
Robin: *shoves Tim out of the way*
Robin: Pretender! Where do you get the nerve –
Me: – to make you look adorable? Look, Dami, I can’t help it –
Black Bat: *grapple-hooks into the room and grabs me*
Spoiler: Alright, creeps, that’s enough blogger harrassment for today!
Batgirl: *whispering into my ear* I’m so sorry you had to go through this.
Alfred: *walks into the room*
Room: *falls silent*
Alfred: No dessert for all of you.
Everyone (including Bruce): *whines*
Alfred: As for you *looks at me*…
Me: *blinks*
Alfred: … we would appreciate it if you joined us for dinner. *walks out of the room with Batcow and Titus in tow*
The Signal: *turns off the camera and runs after Alfred* But I was just filming everything, I swear!
Catwoman: *comes in through the kitchen window* Meow. Did I miss the interview?
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
I guess this is just my way of saying THANK YOU for your continued patronage.
Sincerely *with lots of cute, little hearts*,
a-wayne-at-heart/incorrect-batfamily-quotes
This is the best thing I have ever read in my life
Robin: *hissing*Will you two shut up? Father and Grayson might hear you!
Red Robin: What exactly are you trying to do?
Robin: *carrying@dc-comics-gal into the Batmobile* Trying to sneak them into the Manor! Obviously, Drake!
Red Hood: Well, not that I’d mind seeing the old Bat have a fit, but… why, kid?
Robin: One more question, Todd, and I swear –
Me: Hey, hey, hey! Put the Tumblr user down.
Me: Now, Damian.
Me:
Me: Okay, good.
Me: On our earth, we just say thank you.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
So, thank you!
It’s getting better and better and better 🙂 and I love it 💕
Damian: *shuts his bedroom door behind him*
Dick: Hey, Li’l D –
Dick:
Dick: Is there someone in your room?
Damian: No one! Nothing! None of your business! Now, get out of my way Grayson, I need to find Pennyworth! *rushes past him to the kitchen*
Dick: *slowly opens the door*
Jason: *showing @rosevered some of his favorite 18th century novels* Yo, Dames, you got the tea yet? We’re out –
Dick:
Jason:
Tim: *drops the stack of Xbox games he was carrying*
Dick:
Tim: Uhhh… Damian’s guest from… *looks to @rosevered* Which Earth did you say you were from again?
Dick:
Dick: *sits down beside them on the carpeted floor and offers to shake their hand* Another one of Robin’s stow-aways, huh? Welcome to the Manor, @rosevered .
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
No matter how many times I tell the Bats that a simple thank you would do, they just won’t listen, so I hope you don’t mind!
THIS I LOVE THIS! LIKE SO MUCH :D💙❤💙❤💙❤💙❤💙❤💙❤💙
Batman: *working a long-overdue case on the Batcomputer*
Wonder Woman: *walking around the Batcave and admiring the mementos*
Wonder Woman:
Wonder Woman: *swiftly takes out her lasso and prepares to throw it*
Batman: *grabs the lasso in time* Diana, NO!
Wonder Woman: I sense a foreign presence in your cave, Bruce, lurking right behind that monstrous creature –
@nanna-the-batmum: *steps out from behind the dinosaur and into the light*
Wonder Woman: Great Hera…
Batman: They’re… They’re, uh…
Nightwing: *drops down from the ceiling* A guest from a nearby Earth. *winks at @nanna-the-batmum*
Superman: *flies in through the waterfall and dries himself off* Another one, Bruce?
Batman: Another what, Clark?
Robin: *enters with Batcow on a leash* I wonder the same thing, Father. Eight not enough for you?
Batman: Damian, are you implying –
Superman: *extends a hand to @nanna-the-batmum* Hello, I’m Superman. Welcome to our Earth.
Wonder Woman: *does the same* And I’m Diana of Themyscira. I hope you can forgive me for our earlier introduction.
Red Hood: *pulls his motorcycle to a screeching halt* Yo, @nanna-the-batmum, you one of us? Should we start training you?
Batman: *rubs his temples in frustration* Jason, nobody is training –
Red Robin: *parks his car beside Jason’s motorcycle* We could totally just pick you up at your place. Say, 9-ish? Also, don’t mind the tracker on your collar.
Batman: Tim – Hrrnnn. *goes back to work on the Batcomputer*
Alfred: *puts a hand on @nanna-the-batmum‘s shoulder* Clearly it requires quite a bit of energy to be in this family, so might I suggest you try some of the cookies I just baked? I hear they’re delicious. *leads the way to the kitchen*
Mother of bats…..
Yes good
It’s increased exponentially since last I saw it
If you’re still running this beautiful gift of a post, Harper Row is the best and I love catwoman and red hood so much too.
Selina: Look, @charismatic-hothead darlin’, this isn’t for the faint of heart. Even Bruce wasn’t up to the challenge.
Harper: You have to be totally, a-hundred-percent sure you’re up to this.
Officer Grayson: You have the right to take a break from your hectic schedule and have dinner at the Manor. Anything you do or say that’s equivalent to a “no” can and will be used against you in Alfred’s kitchen.
If you can’t afford a plane ticket to Gotham City, Bruce Wayne’ll provide it for you.
Officer Grayson: Do you understand the rights I have just read to you? With these rights in mind, care to have breakfast with me? I’ve got, like, six kinds of cereal. *grins and offers @chi-townbatgirl a blue-and-black striped hand*
Uhhhhhh i Love it 💜 can i get one with Dami and Alfred If you want to do it 💚
@hoshihime04: *trying to shift positions during a lovely nap but unable to move because of something really heavy…*
@hoshihime04: *eyelids fluttering… blinking… taking in nothing but darkness*
get up* At the young master’s behest, I’ve prepared crispy tofu tacos for the both of you. Now, off to the kitchen you go.
Batman: *stoically*“I can no other answer make, but, thanks, and thanks.”
Jason: Look, I know you’re you, but could you maybe not be you for a sec? This is Shakespeare, man! It’s supposed to be dramatic!
Batman: *with a gruff voice and a dramatic flip of the cape* “They do not love that do not show their love.”
Jason: We’re trying to help @kurara-black-blog in the words department, and possibly express our gratitude, so I don’t need you to be broody right now, Ba –
Red Hood: *chugs a can of beer, drops it to the ground, crushes it with his boot, kicks it to the curb, cocks his guns and sprays the can with bullets*
Red Hood: That’s what I think.
Red Hood: Of any form of disrespect towards your iconic icon.
Alfred: That’s enough, Master Jason! Now come inside for a snack. Bring @platinum-soul7 with you.
Red Hood: Oh, @&#+! Alfred’s cookies. Come on! *runs to the Manor*
It keep getting better and better
I can’t help but love it
*what a person finds when they need to study*
Nightwing: *playfully dangling his old Robin uniform on a blue-striped finger* So… You’re not coming with us, @insufferable-bastardz?
Robin: Not with that garbage of a suit, they’re not, Grayson.
Nightwing: *clutches his chest in mock pain* Right where it hurts, baby bro.
Robin: Also, @insufferable-bastardz has every right to be lame if they wanted to be, so. *shrugs and crosses his arms*
Red Robin: *pacing the room and working out an algorithm* Look, @insufferable-bastardz, I can totally hack into the system and change the schedule of any upcoming exam you have. And though I can hear the vessels in Bruce’s eyes pop as I say this, there’s always breaking and entering –
Nightwing: Which he himself does a lot by the way –
Red Hood: *kicks the door down* HEY.
Nightwing:
Red Robin:
Robin: -Tt-
Red Hood: *narrows his eyes at his brothers* If @insufferable-bastardz wants to study, they get to study.
Red Hood: *pulls out a chair and invitingly taps the one next to his* Let’s do this.
Holy masked riders batman! This is one of the few posts that make me happy by just reading it (hiya from mex)
Batman: *typing on the Batcomputer*
Batman: *snorts*
Batman: *clears his throat*
The Signal: Uh… Boss?
Batman: *grinning to himself*
Batman: *clears his throat again and frowns*
Batman: *chuckles*
Red Robin: Oookay there, Bruce?
Robin: -Tt- Father, what is wrong with –
Batman: *full-blown, guttural laughter*
Red Hood: That’s just… creepy.
Alfred: *runs into the cave, still wearing an apron and mittens* Master Bruce, what on earth –
Batman: *gleefully wiping tears from his eyes and rubbing his belly*
Nightwing: It really wasn’t that funny, Bruce.
Batman: @thedeafeningcollectionzombie … Your comment… Dick… *sighing contentedly* S-such awful jokes when he was Robin…
Red Robin: And Officer Grayson. And Agent 37 –
Batgirl: Then Nightwing again –
Spoiler: It kind of grows on you, actually –
Black Bat: *puts a comforting arm around one of Dick’s*
Batman: Just reminded me of the good old days.
Batman: *clears his throat and goes back to typing on the Batcomputer*
Nightwing: *laughs*Okay, okay. I appreciate you guys putting up with me.
Nightwing: And, @thedeafeningcollectionzombie – or Mex, is it? – hope you have a good laugh, too. *winks*
I love all of these! If you’re still doing it (which you’re probably not) I love Damian and Tim.
💚💚💚
I still remember squealing the first time I read this, thanks!!
Red Robin: … And I couldn’t sleep for, like, eight days.
Superboy: Uh, newsflash: that’s not unusual.
Red Robin: No! I mean, yeah, okay, but this time it wasn’t caffeine or anxiety. It was blood-curdling, Kon. And I live with Damian Wayne.
Superboy: Don’t you think I would’ve heard it then?
Red Robin: Maybe, maybe not? It’s not really – See, it’s –
Red Robin: I trust you with my life. You know that, right?
Superboy: Duh. What’s your point?
Red Robin: *sighs*
Red Robin: Come with me.
Red Robin: *proceeds to lead Conner through a maze of secret passageways throughout the Manor to a steel door*
Red Robin: *takes a prosthetic eyeball out of his utility belt – *
Superboy: Gross, dude!
Red Robin: * – and presents it to a retinal scanner*
1-tonne Door: *slowly opens to reveal a bunch of really awesome, secret stuff that shall not be mentioned here*
Superboy: Woooooooo–
Red Robin: The Bat doesn’t know about this.
Superboy: –aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh–
Robin: *hissing* Will you two idiots shut up?
Red Robin and Superboy: WHAAA!!!
Robin: *jumps down from a dark corner of the ceiling and dusts himself off*
Red Robin: What are you doing here, brat?!
Robin: Drake, did you seriously think that you were the only Robin smart enough to figure this place out?
Superboy: Figure what out exactly… ?
Red Robin: Yeah, congrats, kid, but this is important, so why don’t you go find Kon’s little brother and play outside or someth– *patting one of his utility belt compartments*
Robin: *holding up a prosthetic finger* Looking for this?
Superboy: What is it with your family?!
Red Robin: *rolls his eyes and crosses his arms* Just do it. Show off.
Robin: *places the “finger” against a scanner which activates an alien-looking computer*
Superboy: What is THIS?
Red Robin: Inter-Earth communicator. Underground Wayne Tech.
Superboy: Awessooooooo–
Robin: If anyone finds out about this, Kent, I’ll make sure you wake up in an awesome tub full of Krypton–
Red Robin: Okay, that’s enough, short stuff. They’re on.
Superboy: *watching as two faces slowly come into view on separate panels on screen* They… ?
Robin: Superboy, meet @little-shadowgirl, a worthy admirer, though I fail to understand what they see in Red –
Red Robin: *clears his throat* And @dc-comics-gal, the source of the squeal that woke up me better than any cup of coffee could.
I love that this post just grows and I love it.
Superboy: *spins around in panic* AH! Who said that?!
Robin: *covers Conner’s mouth and silences him with a warning look*
Red Robin: *shutting down the IEC (see previous post) and grabbing hold of his bo staff * Oookay… We’re supposed to be the only ones here.
Red Hood: *coming out of a dark corner* That’s what she – *misses a sword hurled at his face by exactly three millimeters, horrified* What the – KID!
Robin: -Tt-
Red Robin: *facepalms* In his defense, Jay, you had that coming. So you know about this place, too, huh?
Red Hood: *scoffs* How dumb does Bruce think we are?
Red Robin: *shrugs* Maybe he’s been watching us the whole time –
Robin: Perhaps this was Father’s plan all along –
Superboy: WHAT? No, no, no, no, man. I shouldn’t be here. I won’t hear the end of it from Supes if he finds out about this from your dad, of all people!
Red Robin: *slaps Conner on the chest, regrets it immediately and groans internally* Kon, dude, relax. We, like, do stuff like this to Batman all the time.
Superboy: And you actually get away with it?
Red Robin: *looks to Jason*
Red Hood: *looks to Damian*
Robin: -Tt-
Red Robin: Anyway. What were you saying, Jay?
Red Hood: Uhhh…
Superboy: Right before you gave me that Kryptonian heart attack, dude!
Red Hood: First of all, I’m not your dude, and secondly –
Nightwing: *holding @local-witch-of-mn by the arm* Were you looking for them?
Red Hood, Robin and Superboy: AHHHH!!!
Robin: I underestimated your stealth, Grayson –
Nightwing: Uh, guys, you left the gigantic steel door wide open –
Superboy: You freakin’ knew someone else was here the whole time?!
Red Robin: Maybe knew was too strong a word, you could say I hoped – *gets tackled to the ground by Conner*
Robin: *helps Conner out*
Nightwing: *watches them for a moment, inhales and…*
Nightwing: *exhales happily* So. How about a tour of the Manor, huh?
Red Hood: *blindfolds @local-witch-of-mn * Except there’ll be a bunch of stuff you can’t see.
This tag is beautiful and it just keeps getting better and better oml XD
Nightwing: *rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly and smiling shyly* I mean, I have been called “fine wine” before – y’know, gets better with age and all that – but this is really sweet –
Red Hood: *smooshing Dick’s face* What part of “tag” didn’t you understand, Goldie?
Robin: -Tt- Having musculature that could put warriors to shame and a countenance fit for Roman gods does not make everything about you, Grayson.
Red Robin: *shaking his head* @ivan-draws-things, you’ll have to excuse our eldest. He… gets a lot of attention. But we get what you meant. Thanks. *winks*
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 