Overheard from somewhere in the Manor…
Tim: You cross me on this, I’ll go online, and in less than an hour, I will erase you!
Footsteps: *heavy*
Door: *slams shut*
Tag: tim drake
Red Robin: I have never committed a crime in my life.
Red Hood: Well, you did hack into NASA.
Nightwing: *shrugs* They need our help, guys.
Red Hood: Yeah, but… This is… W-What if we… I don’t know, it’s… I don’t know. Shouldn’t we run this by Bruce first?
Robin: Ha! Father would never agree, so I say we just go do it. I bet I could get Kent to sneak into his father’s Fortress of Sadness or whatever and find us something that could help us get there –
Red Hood: *holds up a hand to stop him* Little D, I get it. I died, you died, yet we’re both standing here. A crisis rebooting our universe is basically just Tuesday for all of us. But this? We’re talking other universe-universe. Like, an outside-of-our-entire-freakin’-Multiverse universe, like even Mr. Mxyzptlk –
Nightwing: Jason’s got a point. None of us has ever gone that far. We didn’t even know it existed before this message from… @vecino-amigable-aracnido-jr., who seems to be some kind of… Spiderman.
Red Robin: *clears his throat* That’s not… completely true.
Nightwing: What do you mean?
Red Robin: *whips out his phone and scrolls past about a hundred folders full of photos and case files before reaching one requiring a retinal scan to unlock*
Red Robin: *sighs deeply and aligns his eyes to the scanner*
Red Robin: You jerks better promise me you won’t judge me.
Red Robin:
Nightwing: …
Red Hood: …
Robin: …
To be continued?
Red Robin: *panicking because, for the first time in like forvever, he’s stumped by a supervillain computer program that’s right in front of him*
Nightwing: *slaps him playfully on the back* I’ve seen you hack a thermometer, Tim. This is amateur hour.
Red Robin: Y-you kn-know this software… ?
Nightwing: *standing behind Tim, making the “don’t-mind-him-he’s-only-had-like-eight-minutes-of-sleep-for-the-past-three-days” face at @hotschott1*
Red Robin: Who trained you? And why are you helping us infiltrate an enemy base?
Nightwing [to @hotschott1]: 🙄😏
Nightwing: We’re at home, Tim. This is literally the Batcomputer.
Tim: *turns on his boombox and tunes it to an 80s pop music station*
Tim: *gets up on the table and starts dancing the “running man”*
Bruce:
Dick:
Babs:
Jason:
Steph:
Cass:
Damian: -Tt-
Duke:
Alfred:
Tim: I’m rocking so much adrenaline right now! My blood is basically Red Bull!
Alfred: *nods at Jason*
Jason: *tackles Tim in the middle of the “cabbage patch”*
Alfred: *waits for the table to be cleared of his grandsons, then lays out breakfast entrèes for everyone*
– • – • – • – • –
Good morning from the Manor!
Red Robin: *panicking because, for the first time in like forvever, he’s stumped by a supervillain computer program that’s right in front of him*
Nightwing: *slaps him playfully on the back* I’ve seen you hack a thermometer, Tim. This is amateur hour.
Red Robin: I don’t do dangerous. I do calculations, thereby eliminating the risk.
Tim: Remember your disgusting habit?
Jason: *burps loudly at his face* Which one? I’m going to need you to elaborate.
Driving away from a monster attacking Gotham City be like…
Nightwing: *looking through the rear window of the Batmobile* Uh, guys –
Red Robin: *sitting next to Dick, desperately trying to gain remote control of the Batjet using his communicator*
Robin: *riding shotgun* -Tt- You were picked for a reason, Todd! You’re supposed to be our reckless driver!
Red Hood: *about to drive the Batmobile through a burning building* I’m driving as recklessly as I can!
When your little brother’s a tattletale who hasn’t quite gotten the hang of common expressions just yet…
Red Robin: *looking at his communicator and panicking at the sight of Batman’s face flashing on the screen*
Red Robin: Arghhh! Brat, you let the cat out of the freakin’ bag!
Robin:
Robin: Cats shouldn’t be in a bag in the first place, Drake. Bags are a terrible place for cats.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 