When you cross paths with your big brother at his day job…
Officer Grayson [to witness]: *grinning* I was gonna ask you the same question…
Red Robin: *whispering* Dick, this woman witnessed a crime.
Officer Grayson: *whispering back* Yeah, a crime in progress. She’s stealing my heart, but I ain’t pressing charges. *winks at witness*
Red Robin: *facepalms*
Tag: tim drake
Imagine: one actor, four Robins…
French actor and model Gaspard Ulliel as (clockwise from top left) Dick, Jason, Tim, and (grown-up) Damian.
Commissioner Gordon: Who died and made you Batman?
Nightwing/Red Hood/Red Robin/Robin/Azrael: Uhhhh…
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
So, who’s gonna tell him?
Red Hood v Red Robin: Dawn of Science…
Jason: Tim, at Gotham University they have an incredible piece of scientific equipment known as the Tunneling Electron Microscope.
Jason: Now, this microscope is so powerful that by firing electrons you can actually see images of the atom, the infinitesimally minute building blocks of our universe.
Jason: Tim, if I were using that microscope right now, I still wouldn’t be able to locate my interest in your problem.
For this post by @incorrect-batfamily-quotes
Batjet: *glides down the Batcave driveway and parks itself smoothly*
Batjet door: *opens dramatically*
One of Batman’s boots: *steps out*
Red Robin: *shields his eyes from the brightness* AH!
The rest of Batman’s body: *gets out*
Red Hood: *snorts* HA! *covers his mouth as soon as the yell escapes his mouth*
Batman:
Batman: Hn.
Alfred: *taking the snow-white fur cape off Bruce’s shoulders* Welcome home, Master Bruce. I trust your mission in the Alps with Mr. Kent went well?
Batman: *grunts*
Nightwing: *trying desperately to contain his giggling* D-did y-y-you g-get a h-haircut over there, B?
Red Robin: *smirking and elbowing Jason’s ribs* Or a tan? Something’s definitely different.
Red Hood: *shaking uncontrollably and muttering* Stop it or I’m gonna lose it, Replacement.
Robin: Don’t be ridiculous, Drake. On an unrelated note, have you seen Disney’s “Frozen”, Father?
His brothers: *erupt into full-blown laughter*
Batman: *takes off his cowl, sighs wearily and slumps onto his computer chair*
Nightwing: *on the Comm Link, in a sing-song tone* Baaaabs, guess who just got into fashion? No, not me – Okay, yeah, but that’s not the point –
Robin: *on FaceTime with Jon* Kent, you will not believe – Oh, of course your father already told you –
Red Robin: *on the phone with Conner* – pictures, Dude –
Alfred: *serves him tea* Well, I think you look lovely, Master Bruce. The bright yellow goes well with all the brooding.
Batman:
Batman: *grinning as he sips tea*
Red Hood: *wiping blissful tears off his eyes as he types a message on Tumblr* @omgiamwish , quick, how do I wire-transfer money to your Earth?
Me: *comes up beside Jason, shaking my head and grinning* Yes, you have, @omgiamwish . Yes, you have.
Brilliant. Thank you!
To each his own…
Red Robin: *enters pass code*
Computer: ACCESS DENIED
Red Hood: Let me try mine.
Red Hood: *raises grenade launcher*
When your friends visit the Batcave for the first time (and are absolutely floored by it)…
Superboy: Can you see…
Robin: Yeah.
Beast Boy: Can you believe…
Robin: Yeah.
Impulse: Can we just…
Robin: No.
Telling your new girlfriend about the (Bat)family be like…
Tim: You know how every family has its secrets? Ours are a little different.
At Gotham Academy…
Tim: I’m Damian Wayne’s emergency contact.
Teacher: So, you’re here to pick him up?
Tim: I’m here to be removed as his emergency contact.
Tim: If you can, put Dick Grayson, he’s basically his second mother.
When Lex Luthor visits Wayne Enterprises and offers him a shady deal…
Tim Wayne, CEO: Well, the plot, unlike your hair, continues to thicken.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 