At a Justice League mission briefing…
Batman: Any questions?
Red Hood: *yelling from the back* Why’re you such a poopy head?
Red Robin [whispering to Superboy]: That’s why he gets timeouts.
Tag: tim drake
Tim: Dick, we have a problem.
Dick: Guys, I am not your mother, so don’t come tattling to me every time one of you does something that the other one doesn’t like.
Tim: I’m telling you, he’s crazy. He keeps threatening me and talking in a scary voice.
Damian: No, I didn’t.
Tim: Oh, so you’re saying you didn’t threaten to cut my hair off and give it to Ra’s as a birthday present?
Damian: You know, Drake, I think you’re taking my words a little out of context.
Tim: What?! What context?!
DC: Robin! I need to use you in a story arc.
Robin: You want me to be in the series?
DC: It’s just a few panels. Your predecessor’s supposed to be in ‘em, but he’s dead.
Robin: Dead?!
DC: Or pretending to be. I don’t know. I forget.
DC: Robin! I need to use you in a story arc.
Robin: You want me to be in the series?
DC: It’s just a few panels. Your predecessor’s supposed to be in ‘em, but he’s dead.
Robin: Dead?!
DC: Or pretending to be. I don’t know. I forget.
Damian: Drake, you don’t think I’m condescending, do you?
Tim: *clears throat* Well…
Damian: Oh, I’m sorry. “Condescending” means –
Tim: I know what it means. And, yes, you like to correct people and put them down.
Damian: Au contraire. When I correct people, I’m raising them up. You should know. I do it for you more than anyone else.
Superboy: So, why do you put up with Damian?
Red Robin: Because we’re brothers.
Superboy: Why?
Red Robin: Wow. You ask really hard questions.
Tim: *sobbing on the couch*
Damian: *pushes Tim, forcing him to scoot over, and grabs the remote*
Tim: I’m sorry, is the fact that my life’s falling apart interfering with your TV show?
Damian: *tunes in to Animal Planet*
Damian: *munching on popcorn* It is.
When you’ve got some serious “street cred” to protect…
Jason: What?! I am not a crybaby.
Tim: “Toy Story 3”?
Jason: They were holding hands in a furnace, Tim!
Tim [about Damian]: … And when I dropped him off at the Kent Farm, he even gave me a hug!
Jason: Did he think you were choking, or… ?
Jason: *picks up a piece of paper by the phone*
Jason: Timbo, what’s this? A phone message?
Tim: Yeah. Some dude called for you.
Jason: Who? I can’t read your handwriting.
Tim: *reads the message out loud* “You’re a big, selfish jerk.”
Jason: Okay, I know who it is.
Tim: Probably Roy.
Jason: Yup, Roy.
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