When you and your brothers choose to ditch patrol and have an impromptu picnic instead…
Red Robin: Uh, guys? We don’t have the ingredients for S’mores.
Red Hood: We do.
Nightwing, Red Robin, and Robin: *stare at him*
Red Hood: What? I always have emergency S’more rations in my motorcycle.
He’s got a lighter in case you want an impromptu bonfire, too.
When you teach your sons how to be financially responsible and ask them to present an account of their expenses…
Dick, Jason, Tim, and Damian *hand over haphazardly stacked pieces of paper*
Bruce: Hn.
Bruce: Most of these aren’t even receipts. This one says, “I bought a Robmobile, 2010″.
Red Robin: You could go to jail. Jail, Jay. Jay, jail. Jail, Jay, jail. You could go to jail. Jail. Jail. Jail. Jail.
Red Hood: Are you broken?
Just hopped up on pure liquid caffeine.
And also yes.
When your brothers are all set to go Trick-or-Treating but you’re still on the Batcomputer working on a case…
Dick (in a merman costume): Timmy… ?
Jason (in a Bizarro costume): He’s wearing a costume. He’s going as lame.
Jason: *hears a disturbing noise from the bedroom across his at the Manor*
Jason: *enters Tim’s and finds his brother sitting alone in the dark, in his Red Robin uniform, laughing maniacally*
Jason: Uh, Tim? Why are you laughing?
Tim: *hisses at the light from the doorway*
Tim: *squints and covers half of his face with a cape* Because my dream is dead.
Jason: *hands Tim a mug*
Tim: *takes a sip* Mm-hmm. What did you put in this sugar? It’s so good!
Jason: *blinks*
So, what, Timmy? Coffee tastes like water to you now?
Conner: Are you busy? And writing “Star Trek” fan fiction doesn’t count.
Tim: Ha ha.
Tim: And I finished that last week.
Steph: If you don’t like what I’m tweeting, then don’t follow me, Tim! *types on her cellphone*
Tim: Uh, what are you doing?
Steph: I’m live-tweeting this dumb-ass conversation!
Tim: Is that a threat, Brat?
Damian: Why, yes! I thought that was obvious, Drake.
Jason: *walks into Tim’s bedroom* Hey, Timbo –
Jason: *gags and bends over to catch his breath*
Jason: It smells like some vomit took a dump in here.
In which the stench leads Alfred from the kitchen to his location.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 