“Show and Tell” at Gotham Academy…
Damian: For my item, I chose a picture of my ex-brother, Drake, with a moustache drawn on his face and stink lines coming off him because he stinks!
Tag: tim drake
Leaving your grandsons at the Manor to run some errands be like…
Alfred: *hands over the cordless phone to Dick*
Alfred: *gives him, Jason, Tim, and Damian “The Look”*
Alfred: I pre-dialed 9-1-1, so all you have to do is press “Send”.
You know them so well, Alfie.
Mixed signals…
Damian: Look, I love you like a brother, Kent. But, right now, I hate you like my actual brother, Drake, whom I hate.
Looking at Gotham City crime rate statistics on the Batcomputer…
Jason: Man, a thirty-five percent increase!
Tim: It’s actually thirty-four point two percent.
Jason: Thirty-four point two percent.
Jason: *in a robotic voice, doing a robotic walk* I am Timothy, the Numbers Robot.
Tim: Jason, can you please be quiet? I can’t hear myself not talking to Damian.
When Batgrandpa gets fed up (because you’re wrecking all the furniture in the Manor)…
Alfred: All of you be. Quiet.
Alfred: Master Timothy, Miss Stephanie’s mad because you said “awesome sauce” instead of “I love you, too”.
Alfred: Miss Stephanie, he loves you. Stop being a child.
Alfred: Master Dick, you’re clearly at fault here. Blaming Master Jason won’t save you.
Alfred: And, Master Jason, we both know you were hanging out with Bizarro instead of watching over Master Damian like you promised.
Alfred: So. *looks around at his stunned grandchildren, who are bruised and battered from trying to “resolve” things earlier*
Alfred: Everyone apologize to everyone else. Now.
—
What would this family do without him?
Alfred: *hears the floor creak behind him*
Alfred: *turns around to see a deer caught in the headlights* And, you, Master Bruce, may not be excused.
Oh, ancient Wayne Manor floor, you are a traitor.
When Batgrandpa gets fed up (because you’re wrecking all the furniture in the Manor)…
Alfred: All of you be. Quiet.
Alfred: Master Timothy, Miss Stephanie’s mad because you said “awesome sauce” instead of “I love you, too”.
Alfred: Miss Stephanie, he loves you. Stop being a child.
Alfred: Master Richard, you’re clearly at fault here. Blaming Master Jason won’t save you.
Alfred: And, Master Jason, we both know you were hanging out with Bizarro instead of watching over Master Damian like you promised.
Alfred: So. *looks around at his stunned grandchildren, who are bruised and battered from trying to “resolve” things earlier*
Alfred: Everyone apologize to everyone else. Now.
What would this family do without him?
When asked how he spent time with his brothers yesterday…
Jason: The dentist pulled my tooth out. It’s always a good idea to demonstrate to the guys that you are capable of withstanding a tremendous amount of pain.
Jason: Plus, it’s always fun to see Tim faint.
Conner: What’s your favorite food? (And coffee beans are off the table.)
Tim: I take a piece of Skittles and put it between two Starbursts.
Tim: Jay, why did you take the blame?
Jason: I didn’t want you to wreck your life. You’ve got the brains and the talent to go as far as you want. And when you do, I’ll be right there to borrow money.
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