Tag: tim drake

Trying to figure out Batman’s laptop password be like…

Tim: When you first started dating him, what was his nickname for you?

Selina: “Sexy pants”.

Tim: Ew. The other one?

Selina: “Kitty”.

In which Timmy’s scarred for life.

Tim: *wearing a Superboy t-shirt and standing majestically with his chest heaving after sprinting for dramatic effect*

Dick: *cups his hands into a voice amplifier* It’s a bird! It’s a plane!

Jason: *walks past them to grab a can of beer from the fridge* It’s super out of breath.

Tim: Happy Halloween to you, too.

Mornings at the Manor…

Damian: *walks into the kitchen and sees Tim splayed on the kitchen counter, bruised and bloodied, and in a singed Red Robin uniform*

Damian: Pennyworth, do we have to put the trash on the counter? I take my afternoon tea here.

Tim: *walks in on Dick and Jason excitedly discussing the previous night’s events*

Tim: *wiping dried-up drool off from his face and onto his coffee-stained pajamas*

Tim: What party?

Jason: Aw. The two saddest words in the English language.

Alfred: *cutting off Dick’s atrocious ponytailed hair*

Tim: *walks into the Batcave, wiping the sleep from his eyes*

Tim: *yawns* What’s going on, Alfred? Are we poor?

Nah. He just didn’t have enough patience to bring your brother all the way to the barber, Timmy. The tail had to go.

Jason: Let me tell you about a little innovation called “Netflix”. You’ll never miss another movie again.

Tim: Really?

Jason: I swear. You pick a film on your computer. Three days later, there’s a disc in your mailbox. You gotta stay up with technology, Timbo!

Tim: Gee. Thanks.

Jason: *cockily walks away*

Tim [to Dick]: Can you believe he doesn’t know about streaming? If I ever get that out of touch, kill me.

That’s what being in a coffin for a long time can do to you, Timmy.

Wayne Manor, 3 AM…

Dick: *teary-eyed, sniffling, and sneezing*

Dick: *heads to the kitchen and pours himself a glass of milk*

Dick: *pauses when he hears swift, clicking sounds*

Dick: *thinks to himself, “WTF?!”, and grabs an escrima stick from a secret compartment behind the refrigerator*

Dick: *wipes his nose with the back of his hand and prepares to pounce on the silhouette by the breakfast table*

Dick: aaaaaAAAHHH –

Tim: *swivels around, dead-eyed and on his sixty-fourth cup of coffee*

Tim: I typed your symptoms on my laptop here. And it says you could have Network Connectivity Problems.

@prison-mikes-bandana, an updated version. Haha.