Arsenal: Hey, Jaybird, I’m ho–
Red Hood:
Red Robin:
Arsenal: *jaw drops*
Red Hood: Uh. Sorry. You must be freaked out.
Arsenal: Oh, watching my zombie housemate talk to his brother’s ghost? That’s just what I call a Tuesday.
Oops. Did he forget to mention that Timmy’s back?
Sorry, guys. In my mind, Jason and Roy are still best friends and therefore still share a safe house in Rebirth.
When Batman’s sons come over to your city and you hear about it at work…
Lois: Hey, Smallville. There are a few developments. You might want to make some room on the front page.
Clark: *raises an eyebrow*
No need to worry, Superman. It’s just your nephews wreaking havoc on some Gotham City criminals who thought they could hide out in Metropolis.
Red Hood and Red Robin: *wounded, out of weapons, and crouching behind crates as armed henchmen close in on them from every corner*
Red Hood: *grins*
Red Robin: Jason, “I could take out those guys” isn’t a plan.
HOSPITAL PATIENTS:
Dick:
- “Oh, those glass shards on my back? I get them all the time. No biggie. Hey, do you guys serve cereal?”
- The staff love checking him ou – er, checking up on him.
- Regales them with stories of past injuries, which none of them can believe are even possible (”Then how are you still alive?”)
Jason
- Fake ID (since, you know, legally dead and all)
- Wheeled into the hospital room by 5 AM, out through the window in a hospital gown and onto a waiting motorcycle by 5:15 AM
Tim:
- Double-checks every diagnosis and every medication and cross-references them with similar cases in the city (and occasionally schools whoever is unfortunate enough to check up on him)
- Who knows how pure liquid caffeine got injected into his IV bottle?
Damian:
- “You call this food? My father will buy this place!”
- Physical examination? You might as well put your hand inside a Tasmanian devil’s tunnel.
Just promoting original content from my other blog. 🙂
Oh, sorry. Timmy “schools whomever is unfortunate to check up on him”.
Mornings at the Manor…
Jason: *scurrying around the kitchen, opening and closing cupboards, looking under kitchen counters and chairs*
Tim: *typing on his laptop, drinking pure liquid caffeine*
Jason: I have to tell you something. When we fell on really hard times, Roy and I stayed at a rat-infested motel for a month, and I developed a deep-seated fear of rats.
Tim: *not looking away from laptop* I am so sorry to hear about that. I understand your fears and I validate them.
Jason: I’m not looking for your understanding, Tim! Just grab the freakin’ rat!
Red Robin: Hey. Don’t die again.
Red Hood: That’s the plan.
Tim: I’m going to go talk to Bruce right now because I am emotionally mature.
Jason: Show off.
Damian: Drake, I’ve been meaning to tell you something…
Tim: Yeah?
Damian: You suck.
Tim: *carefully running his hands over the dusty velvet Davenport in the Manor living room*
Bruce: …
Alfred: …
Dick: …
Damian: *smirks*
Jason: *shrugs* The Vicodin seems to be working. He claims that it makes the furniture feel friendly.
Jason, this is not what your adoptive father meant when he asked you to watch over your sleep-deprived, younger brother while they were gone.
Red Robin: Jason, what are you doing here?
Red Hood: What are you doing here?
Red Robin: I don’t know. Following you to a bad part of town and saving your life. You know, the usual. Your turn.
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