Family Patrol Night…
Batman: I will go in and do this quietly.
Red Hood: Well, if that doesn’t work, we will come in to make some noise. *cocks guns*
Nightwing: *lights up escrima sticks*
Red Robin: *twirls bo staff*
Robin: *brandishes sword*
Bonus:
Superman: *hovers and winks*
Bruce, what made you even think that they’d stay behind?
When you realize that maybe it isn’t a good idea to pair up your two younger brothers for patrol just yet…
Red Robin and Robin: *storm into the Batcave, shoving each other out of the way, and immediately head to opposite directions*
Red Robin: *swearing angrily under his breath*
Robin: -Tt-
Nightwing: Um…
Red Robin: *glowers at Damian while stripping off his uniform*
Robin: *hisses at Tim, grabs Alfred the Cat, and goes upstairs to his bedroom*
Nightwing: So…
Red Robin: The brat followed me home. Can we keep him? Can we keep him? Say no, Dick!
Tim: *sobbing on the couch*
Damian: *pushes Tim, forcing him to scoot over, and grabs the remote*
Tim: I’m sorry, is the fact that my life’s falling apart interfering with your TV show?
Damian: *tunes in to Animal Planet*
Damian: *munching on popcorn* It is.
When your adoptive father wants to have a private conversation with a colleague but you’re bored out of your mind and eavesdropping seems fun..
Nightwing [on the Comm Link]: *hanging from one of the ceiling stalactites in the Batcave* His mouth hasn’t moved in three and a half minutes.
Red Hood [on the Comm Link]: *crouching behind the glass case of his Robin uniform* Hal Jordan’s probably got him on hold.
Robin [on the Comm Link]: *sitting inside the dinosaur’s oral cavity* No, no. His nostrils are flaring. He’s pacing like a maniac.
Red Robin [on the Comm Link]: *viewing Batman from his own bedroom via a secret camera he installed on the Batmobile* And he just switched his phone from his right hand to his left hand like he wants to punch someone.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Perhaps because he knew that you boys have been listening in all along? Y’all ain’t slick.
Batman: *discussing the do’s and don’ts for an upcoming mission*
Red Hood [to The Signal]: *whispering* Don’t worry about it, man.
Red Hood: *gestures to his brothers and to himself* You’re kind of like a Robin now. We make our own rules.
Nightwing: *winks*
Red Robin: *grins*
Robin: *salutes*
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Bros before… broody, mood-killing, adoptive fathers clad in leather.
Jason: *shoves Tim out of his room and shuts the door behind them* You invaded my privacy. I have a right to be upset, okay?
Tim: It’s not snooping if something is out in the open. That’s the rule.
Jason: There’s no rule.
Tim: Are you serious? “If it’s not hidden, it’s not forbidden.” You’ve never heard of that?
Jason: No, I’ve never heard of it because you just made it up.
So he saw the little Bizarro plushie on your bed (or was it the pair of Batman boxers under it?). So what? It’s adorable, Jay!
Jason: Yeah, Timbo?
Tim: I’m not talking to you.
Jason: Oh. Who are you talking to?
Tim: Kon.
Jason: *looks around the room*
Jason: Uh. He’s not here, Timmy…
Tim: No. He’s not.
Super hearing and super friendship. Duh, Jay.
Jason: Yeah, Timbo?
Tim: I’m not talking to you.
Jason: Oh. Who are you talking to?
Tim: Kon.
Jason: *looks around the room*
Jason: Uh. He’s not here, Timmy…
Tim: No. He’s not.
Super hearing and super friendship. Duh, Jay.
Batwoman: *gesturing to a gagged and restrained henchman out of earshot* Would you like first crack at him?
Nightwing:
Red Robin:
Robin:
Red Hood: *steps aside* Kate, please, you’re our guest.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Let no one say that the Batboys aren’t gentlemen.
When your adoptive father’s being beaten up by Bane on national TV and you remember him ordering you to “stay out of it no matter what”…
Nightwing: *holding back angry tears*
Red Robin: *hacking into the satellites to disable public broadcasting*
Robin: *gripping his sword so hard that the handle nearly breaks*
Red Hood:
Red Hood: So what do we do now? Sit around and try not to die?!
Red Hood: *grabs his jacket and storms out of the Batcave*
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