Tim: *whispering* What’s your hurry?
Jason: *grabbing his leather jacket and kicking three-day-old garbage underneath the sofa* This place is depressing.
Dick: *yelling from the kitchen* Hey! I live here!
Jason: *yelling back* And I’m sure it’s a blast once you get used to it!
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Maybe if you cleaned up once in a while before these family visits, Nightwing…
Tag: tim drake
Family Patrol Night…
Batman: *setting up surveillance equipment on the rooftop*
Robin: *watching the traffic down below while perched atop a gargoyle*
Nightwing: *balancing on the ledge (y’know, upside-down and on one hand, the yoosh)*
Red Robin: Jay, I have a riddle for you. What’s the sound of one hand clapping?
Red Hood: Piece of cake. *opens and closes his fist quickly, which makes a faint sound*
Red Robin: No, man. It’s a 3000-year-old riddle with no answer. It’s supposed to clear your mind of conscious thought.
Red Hood: No answer? Timmy, listen up. *quickly opens and closes his fist again*
Batman: Hn. *smirks*
Nightwing: *giggles and almost loses his balance*
Robin: -Tt-
When you’re curious to find out what you could’ve been had you not met Batman…
S.T.A.R. Labs Scientist: Here are your scientifically selected careers.
Batgirl: “Architect”. Nice.
The Signal: “Insurance salesman”. Uhhh, right.
Spoiler: “Salmon gutter”? What in the –
Robin: “Military strongman”. -Tt-
Red Robin: “Systems analyst”. *shrugs*
Nightwing: “Homemaker”?
S.T.A.R. Labs Scientist: Mm-hm. It’s like a mommy.
Red Hood: “Police officer”? Well, I’ll be jiggered.
Rescuing your father figure be like…
Red Robin [to Batman]: If I’m going to have to keep bailing you out, you’re going to have to raise my allowance… a lot.
Red Hood: *unconscious on the floor*
Nightwing: Well?
Red Robin: *checks Red Hood’s pulse* He’ll live.
Robin: What, no brain damage?
Red Robin: If he has some, it happened way before tonight and was probably self-inflicted.
Red Hood: *gets up* Ahhh, good times.
Red Robin: Who are you calling?
Red Hood: My guy in the CIA.
Red Robin: You have a guy in the CIA?
Red Hood: When are you going to learn? I have a guy everywhere.
When you realize that maybe it isn’t a good idea to pair up your two younger brothers for patrol just yet…
Red Robin and Robin: *storm into the Batcave, shoving each other out of the way, and immediately head to opposite directions*
Red Robin: *swearing angrily under his breath*
Robin: -Tt-
Nightwing: Um…
Red Robin: *glowers at Damian while stripping off his uniform*
Robin: *hisses at Tim, grabs Alfred the Cat, and goes upstairs to his bedroom*
Nightwing: So…
Red Robin: The brat followed me home. Can we keep him? Can we keep him? Say no, Dick!
Tim: Bart has no survival or self-preservation instincts. I think he was born without them.
Conner: That can’t be true.
Tim: Watch this.
Tim: Hey Bart! Race you downstairs!
Bart: *jumps out of a three-story window*
remember: if a character isn’t 100% confirmed to be dead then they are still alive
Jason: *rubbing his chin* But even if they were…
Tim: Will you just give it a rest already?
Bruce: I don’t have favorites.
Dick: Then how come Duke has an allowance?
Tim: Duke gets an allowance? How come I never got one?
Damian: Because you’re rich too, genius.
Steph: How come I didn’t get an allowance?
Dick: Do you even live here?
Jason: He gets an allowance? I had to pay to be here!
Alfred: That was a swear jar, there is a difference.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 