If the Batboys had entrance music when they entered a battlefield…
DICK’s would be “Death of a Bachelor” by Panic! At the Disco…
JASON’s, “Heathens” by twenty one pilots…
TIM’s, “Basketcase” by Green Day…
And, DAMIAN’s, “The Imperial March” by John Williams.
The Robins as… sort of.
I just felt like putting together some pre-battle mood music and visuals for these Batboys. Let me give credit where it is due: none of the media I used are my property. (Thank you, owners.)
DICK:
Listen: Panic! At the Disco’s “Death of a Bachelor”
Does Dick look lonely? He sees the shadows on his face. People have told him he doesn’t look the same.
If the Batboys had entrance music when they entered a battlefield…
DICK’s would be “Death of a Bachelor” by Panic! At the Disco…
JASON’s, “Heathens” by twenty one pilots…
TIM’s, “Basketcase” by Green Day…
And, DAMIAN’s, “The Imperial March” by John Williams.
The Robins as… sort of.
I just felt like putting together some pre-battle mood music and visuals for these Batboys. Let me give credit where it is due: none of the media I used are my property. (Thank you, owners.)
DICK:
Listen: Panic! At the Disco’s “Death of a Bachelor”
If the Batboys had entrance music when they entered a battlefield…
DICK’s would be “Death of a Bachelor” by Panic! At the Disco…
JASON’s, “Heathens” by twenty one pilots…
TIM’s, “Basketcase” by Green Day…
And, DAMIAN’s, “The Imperial March” by John Williams.
The Robins as… sort of.
I just felt like putting together some pre-battle mood music and visuals for these Batboys. Let me give credit where it is due: none of the media I used are my property. (Thank you, owners.)
DICK:
Listen: Panic! At the Disco’s “Death of a Bachelor”
Dick: Okay. *takes out a clipboard and a bunch of entrance tickets* Roll call.
Jason: This is dumb. We’re not kids.
Dick: *grins* Hey, we don’t get to do this a lot, so we should do it right. I don’t want anyone getting lost.
Dick: *tosses a walkie-talkie to each of his siblings* Now, do you remember your code names?
He’s also the first one to get lost once they get in because he’s just raring to try every ride he can. But he particularly enjoys those where he feels like he’s freefalling.
Ride Attendant: *deadpan* Sir, I don’t know how you did that, but if you don’t get back behind those safety restraints I’m going to have to ask you to get off this thing.
Dick: *reduces his dislocated shoulder and winks at them before spreading his wings arms and jumping off (much to the attendant’s horror)*
How he gets Bruce to come on these family trips is beyond anyone…
Dick: You promised me, Bruce. We pinky-swore.
Bruce: *trying to solve a cold case on the Batcomputer* Those things aren’t binding, Dick.
Dick: They are to me.
… Let alone how he gets Bruce to ride the Bumper Cars every time.
Dick: *excitedly tapping the steering wheel with his fingers* Isn’t this fun, Bruce? This time you get to be a rogue, and I get to be Batman chasing you in the Batmobile.
Bruce: *in the car across from Dick’s, struggling to fit into it and trying to fasten the flimsy seat belt* Hrrrn.
>>> — <<<
JASON:
While his family and their friends race to the most thrilling rides, he usually heads elsewhere by himself. Everyone assumes he’s the daredevil (and they’re right). But, if truth be told, he only comes on these family trips for a different kind of escape: solitude.
Jason: *lights up a cigarette as he takes in the breathtaking view from the top of the Ferris wheel, which had stopped turning*
Damian: *dangling from a spoke cable near Jason’s cabin* Todd.
Jason: *gets startled and drops his cigarette into the abyss* WHA- HOW – DID YOU JUST CLIMB UP THIS THING?
Damian: *jumps into the cabin, sits across from Jason, and dusts himself off*
Jason: Shouldn’t you be down there having fun, kid?
Damian: This place is overrated.
Jason: You’re too young to be this cynical.
Damian: -Tt- What do you know?
Jason: *takes another cigarette from his jacket pocket, lights it up, then takes a drag* I know you think it’s too late for you to have a childhood, but it’s not, alright? Look, Robin’s a great gig and everything – Heck, I loved every second of it until, well… What I’m trying to say is that sometimes we forget that we have a life outside of being Batman’s sidekick.
Damian: *shuffling his feet awkwardly*
Jason: *chuckles* I know all the sweetest rides. Next time we come here, you stick with me, deal?
Damian: *grins* Deal.
Jason and Damian: *enjoy the silence that follows*
>>> — <<<
TIM:
Show-off, that’s what he is.
Carnival Attendant: *exhausted from re-stacking the milk jugs for the nth time*
Tim: *handing over the nth stuffed toy he’s won in a row* Here you go.
The nth child to approach him: *enthusiastic* Thank you, mister!
Carnival Attendant: *wiping sweat off their forehead* Boy, I think it’s time you moved to another booth.
Tim: *sheepishly scratching his head* Oh, um, they’ve all already kind of asked me to do that, so…
He’s not very good at separating work from pleasure.
Dick [on the walkie-talkie]: Timmy? Over. Where are you? Over. Wanna try Lex’s “Drop of Doom” with me –
Tim: *moving at 100 km/hr* Not now, Dick! Over!
Dick: Woah, what’re you on? It sounds like you’re moving really fast. Over.
Tim: Ziplining! Over! Roger! Whatever! Gotta go –
Dick: Wait, what? There’s a zip li– *static*
Tim: *crashes into the criminal he’s been tracking down* GOTCHA!
Let’s just say maybe he’s not the best person to bring to an amusement park (as his ex-girlfriend Zoanne Wilkins would attest to in canon).
Tim: *yawning*
Bruce: *frowning* You have footprints on your face.
Tim: *slaps Bruce’s hand away as the latter attempts to wipe it off* It’s a new look.
Alfred: I trust you enjoyed your nap on the Bouncy Castle, Master Timothy?
Dick: *throws hands up in frustration* I thought we talked about this. No going on patrol at least one day before this trip, remember?
>>> — <<<
DAMIAN:
Tim: *squatting slightly to be face-to-face with Damian* Do you know what they do to children who can’t reach the height limit for rides, brat?
Damian: Shut your fat mouth, Drake!
Tim: *grinning mischievously* They don’t let them ride anything but those spinning teacups –
Alfred:Enough, Master Timothy.
Drake and his nonsense, right? Of course he’s tall enough (making him breathe a secret sigh of relief). But maybe, just maybe, those teacups would be better than:
Damian: *covering his ears and glaring at Dick, who’s been gleefully screaming his head off, for the entire duration of the roller coaster ride*
Dick: *pumping his fists in the air as the ride slows down to a stop* Woohoooo! Wanna do it again, Little D?
Damian: -Tt- *gets up once the restraints are lifted and trudges away*
He doesn’t understand how his siblings are still this exhilarated to be in such a “juvenile” place when they face actual life-and-death situations on an almost-daily basis. Until…
Damian: *tugs on Bruce’s sleeve* Father. I need $200.
Bruce: Son, you don’t have to pay every time you get on a ride –
Damian: No, not for those things! It’s for that. *points at a souvenir shop* And that. *points at a cotton candy cart* And that. *points at a poster of an upcoming musical performance*
Alfred: *gives Bruce a pointed look*
Bruce: *takes his wallet out* Here, take my card.
Damian: *grabs Alfred’s hand* Let’s go, Pennyworth! We’ve no time to waste!
Bruce: *grins as he watches Damian drag Alfred with him*
~ * ~ * ~ * ~
They’re definitely not your typical theme park-going family, @alias-sunshine. Thanks for this suggestion. The boys needed a break.
Dick: Okay. *takes out a clipboard and a bunch of entrance tickets* Roll call.
Jason: This is dumb. We’re not kids.
Dick: *grins* Hey, we don’t get to do this a lot, so we should do it right. I don’t want anyone getting lost.
Dick: *tosses a walkie-talkie to each of his siblings* Now, do you remember your code names?
He’s also the first one to get lost once they get in because he’s just raring to try every ride he can. But he particularly enjoys those where he feels like he’s freefalling.
Ride Attendant: *deadpan* Sir, I don’t know how you did that, but if you don’t get back behind those safety restraints I’m going to have to ask you to get off this thing.
Dick: *reduces his dislocated shoulder and winks at them before spreading his wings arms and jumping off (much to the attendant’s horror)*
How he gets Bruce to come on these family trips is beyond anyone…
Dick: You promised me, Bruce. We pinky-swore.
Bruce: *trying to solve a cold case on the Batcomputer* Those things aren’t binding, Dick.
Dick: They are to me.
… Let alone how he gets Bruce to ride the Bumper Cars every time.
Dick: *excitedly tapping the steering wheel with his fingers* Isn’t this fun, Bruce? This time you get to be a rogue, and I get to be Batman chasing you in the Batmobile.
Bruce: *in the car across from Dick’s, struggling to fit into it and trying to fasten the flimsy seat belt* Hrrrn.
>>> — <<<
JASON:
While his family and their friends race to the most thrilling rides, he usually heads elsewhere by himself. Everyone assumes he’s the daredevil (and they’re right). But, if truth be told, he only comes on these family trips for a different kind of escape: solitude.
Jason: *lights up a cigarette as he takes in the breathtaking view from the top of the Ferris wheel, which had stopped turning*
Damian: *dangling from a spoke cable near Jason’s cabin* Todd.
Jason: *gets startled and drops his cigarette into the abyss* WHA- HOW – DID YOU JUST CLIMB UP THIS THING?
Damian: *jumps into the cabin, sits across from Jason, and dusts himself off*
Jason: Shouldn’t you be down there having fun, kid?
Damian: This place is overrated.
Jason: You’re too young to be this cynical.
Damian: -Tt- What do you know?
Jason: *takes another cigarette from his jacket pocket, lights it up, then takes a drag* I know you think it’s too late for you to have a childhood, but it’s not, alright? Look, Robin’s a great gig and everything – Heck, I loved every second of it until, well… What I’m trying to say is that sometimes we forget that we have a life outside of being Batman’s sidekick.
Damian: *shuffling his feet awkwardly*
Jason: *chuckles* I know all the sweetest rides. Next time we come here, you stick with me, deal?
Damian: *grins* Deal.
Jason and Damian: *enjoy the silence that follows*
>>> — <<<
TIM:
Show-off, that’s what he is.
Carnival Attendant: *exhausted from re-stacking the milk jugs for the nth time*
Tim: *handing over the nth stuffed toy he’s won in a row* Here you go.
The nth child to approach him: *enthusiastic* Thank you, mister!
Carnival Attendant: *wiping sweat off their forehead* Boy, I think it’s time you moved to another booth.
Tim: *sheepishly scratching his head* Oh, um, they’ve all already kind of asked me to do that, so…
He’s not very good at separating work from pleasure.
Dick [on the walkie-talkie]: Timmy? Over. Where are you? Over. Wanna try Lex’s “Drop of Doom” with me –
Tim: *moving at 100 km/hr* Not now, Dick! Over!
Dick: Woah, what’re you on? It sounds like you’re moving really fast. Over.
Tim: Ziplining! Over! Roger! Whatever! Gotta go –
Dick: Wait, what? There’s a zip li– *static*
Tim: *crashes into the criminal he’s been tracking down* GOTCHA!
Let’s just say maybe he’s not the best person to bring to an amusement park (as his ex-girlfriend Zoanne Wilkins would attest to in canon).
Tim: *yawning*
Bruce: *frowning* You have footprints on your face.
Tim: *slaps Bruce’s hand away as the latter attempts to wipe it off* It’s a new look.
Alfred: I trust you enjoyed your nap on the Bouncy Castle, Master Timothy?
Dick: *throws hands up in frustration* I thought we talked about this. No going on patrol at least one day before this trip, remember?
>>> — <<<
DAMIAN:
Tim: *squatting slightly to be face-to-face with Damian* Do you know what they do to children who can’t reach the height limit for rides, brat?
Damian: Shut your fat mouth, Drake!
Tim: *grinning mischievously* They don’t let them ride anything but those spinning teacups –
Alfred:Enough, Master Timothy.
Drake and his nonsense, right? Of course he’s tall enough (making him breathe a secret sigh of relief). But maybe, just maybe, those teacups would be better than:
Damian: *covering his ears and glaring at Dick, who’s been gleefully screaming his head off, for the entire duration of the roller coaster ride*
Dick: *pumping his fists in the air as the ride slows down to a stop* Woohoooo! Wanna do it again, Little D?
Damian: -Tt- *gets up once the restraints are lifted and trudges away*
He doesn’t understand how his siblings are still this exhilarated to be in such a “juvenile” place when they face actual life-and-death situations on an almost-daily basis. Until…
Damian: *tugs on Bruce’s sleeve* Father. I need $200.
Bruce: Son, you don’t have to pay every time you get on a ride –
Damian: No, not for those things! It’s for that. *points at a souvenir shop* And that. *points at a cotton candy cart* And that. *points at a poster of an upcoming musical performance*
Alfred: *gives Bruce a pointed look*
Bruce: *takes his wallet out* Here, take my card.
Damian: *grabs Alfred’s hand* Let’s go, Pennyworth! We’ve no time to waste!
Bruce: *grins as he watches Damian drag Alfred with him*
~ * ~ * ~ * ~
They’re definitely not your typical theme park-going family, @alias-sunshine . Thanks for this suggestion. The boys needed a break.
Him: *claps his hands to get the students’ attention* “Okay, so. It’s your turn to try the moves I showed you. I need a volunteer. Who wants to go first?”
Hands: *shoot up in the air before he even finishes saying the word “first”*
Him: *beckons a student over* “You.”
Student: *approaches him*
Him: *chuckles sheepishly and holds up a hand* “Woah there, a little too close. I can, uh, practically smell your breath. *clears his throat* So here’s how it’s going to go. I’m going to tackle you from behind…”
Student: *staring at him dreamily*
Him: “… and you’re supposed to fight back.”
Student: *nodding absentmindedly*
Him: *proceeds to tackle them*
Student: *melts in his arms*
Him: *sighs in frustration*
>>> — <<<
Him: *does a standing double backflip, pulls escrima sticks from his back mid-air, then lands lightly on his feet, pouncing on a dummy*
Class: *silent*
Student: “You want us to do what now?”
JASON:
Him: *demonstrates how to disarm an attacker using a dummy*
Class: *watches in horror as the dummy practically breaks in half*
Him: *growls, stands up, then roughly wipes the sweat off his face*
Him: *finally notices their shock* “But, you know, it’s, um… It’s just one way to do it. You could always improvise.”
>>> — <<<
Student: *approaches him after class* “Mr. Todd, can I just pay you?”
Him: “Well, yeah, these classes aren’t exactly free…”
Student: “I mean, can I just pay you to go around with me?”
Him: “Uh…”
Student: *shaky breath* “It’s just that there’s this bully in my school and…”
Him: “Say no more. It’s on me.”
TIM:
Class: *puzzled*
Student A: “Uh… This is a train station.”
Him: *tossing a blindfold to each of them* Yup.
Student B: “Where exactly are we headed?”
Him: *listens for an oncoming train* On top.
Student C: “Of the train?”
Him: *sipping liquid caffeine from a sachet* Mm-hm.
Student D: *examining the blindfold in their hand, confused* “Yeah… I don’t think any of us are gonna get mugged on top of a train any time soon.”
Him: *wearing his own blindfold and smirking* “It’s better to know it and not need it.”
>>> — <<<
Class: *puzzled*
Student A: “Uh… This is a computer room.”
Him: *turning the lights on* “Yup. Each of you choose a laptop.”
Student B: “What exactly are we doing here? I thought this was a self-defense class.”
Him: *turning on the state-of-the-art laptop at the front of the room* “Ever heard of cyber bullying?”
DAMIAN:
Him: *drags a heavy crate into the training room and opens it* “Line up. Pick your weapon. Then pair up. Do it quickly and” *narrows his eyes* "quietly.“
Student A: *whispering while gingerly touching the tip of an arrowhead* “Is this… kryptonite?”
Student B: *whispering back while examining the katana in their hand* “I don’t know, but I don’t think this is gonna fit in my purse.”
>>> — <<<
Him: *pacing around the room* “As I was saying, every martial art is” – *does a double take* “Todd?”
Jason: *walking into the dojo with a student* “In the flesh. Wassup, little brother?”
Student: *points at Damian* “That’s the bully I was telling you about!”
Him: “-Tt-”
~ * ~ * ~ * ~
You know, I’ve read great reviews about these self-defense instructors from Gotham City. But I heard Batman might take you in soon after completing their courses, @prison-mikes-bandana . *scoffs* That’s silly.
Jason: *gets up, dusts himself off, then slowly walks towards Damian’s student*
Damian’s student: *backs away, trembling in fear, until they hit a wall*
Jason: *towering over them* “One: That hurt.” *rolls his eyes* “My feelings.”
Jason: “Two:” *breaks the shaft of the arrow sticking out of his flank in half* “I’m undead, not Kryptonian.”
Jason: *narrows his eyes* “And, three…”
Damian’s student: *close to tears, shielding their face*
Jason: *smirks* “Your teacher taught you well.” *pats them on the shoulder*
Damian: “Are you done, Todd? I have a class to teach.”
Jason: *cracks his knuckles* “No, not really. I have beef with you because apparently you have beef with a student of mine.” *gestures to his own student*
Jason’s student: *raises their hand proudly*
The rest of the students: *buzzing with excitement, placing bets*
Damian: “-Tt-” *gritting his teeth* “Can we please settle this at home? I’m kind of busy here.”
Jason: *rubbing his chin* “Huh. Speaking of beef… I could use some of Alfred’s stew.”
Jason’s student: *whispering to him* “Who’s Alfred?”
Foreword: Okay, this wasn’t even an Ask or a prompt sent specifically to me, but I reblogged this post a bunch of times with my own answers back in September 2019 (T’was fun!) and figured I might as well compile them into one post. That being said, thank you to @batmanisagatewaydrug for the suggestion. (P.S. If you do come across the original post, check out what the others answered. Pretty hilarious stuff.)
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
Nightwing: *speaking in a hushed tone* No, no, B, look, just –
Nightwing: *hissing* Will you stop that please? You’re breaking the freakin’ door! You want to buy this nice gentleman a brand new car, is that what you want?
Batman: *snorts, then lets go of the door handle and glares at the window*
Nightwing: There. Was that so hard? Now, relax. As I was saying, once in a while, it’s nice to let someone else take the wheel, you know? To just let go of the consuming urge to control everything and everyone and –
Driver: *eyeing them through the rearview mirror* So, you two headed to Gotham Comic Con?
Batman: Hrrrn.
Nightwing: Yes, yes, that’s exactly it.
>>> — <<<
Red Hood: *takes his helmet off, adjusts his domino mask, and lights up a cigarette*
Driver: Sir, that’s not –
Red Hood: *blows smoke out of the window and offers him a stick* Want one?
Driver: No, it’s… it’s fine. Thank you.
Red Hood: You seen any penguins around here lately?
Driver: Penguins… Like the ones at the zoo?
Red Hood: *surveying every establishment they drive by* No, no. Suspicious ones.
Driver: I, um… don’t think so…
Red Hood: *puts his cigarette out and flicks it into a garbage bin they pass* Just drop me off at that bar right there.
Driver: Are you sure? Because it says on the map that we’re still half a mile away from The Daily Planet –
Red Hood: *reloading a gun and muttering to himself while looking intensely out of the window* There you are, you piece of filth. Hiding out in Metropolis like the coward that you are –
Driver: *gulps as he eyes him through the rearview mirror*
Red Hood: *hands him a hundred dollar bill, then pats him on the shoulder* Thanks, man. Stay safe.
Driver: *gets a jolt as he hears the back door slam shut* You’re welcome, Sir… Rason Rodd.
>>> — <<<
Red Robin: *wakes up with a jolt* Huh, what, where am I? Who are you?!
Driver: Sir, I’m your driver and you’re in an Uber that you booked… ?
Red Robin: Oh. *relaxes into his seat, staining it further with the blood dripping from his suit*
Driver: *eyeing him through the rearview mirror* Costume party, huh?
Red Robin: *thinking about how patrol went and chuckling* Unfunny clowns, talking crocodiles, two-faced men… You name it.
Driver: Sounds wild.
Red Robin: *yawning* Yuppp yup yup.
Driver: Also, I just want to make sure, because it says here on the map that I’m supposed to drop off you at *zooms the location in* the Gotham Garbage and Recycling Center? … At 2 AM?
Red Robin: Yeah, don’t worry about. *shuts his eyes and goes back to sleep*
>>> — <<<
At Gotham Academy…
Damian: *glares at the driver through the rearview mirror*
Driver: *shifts uncomfortably in his seat*
Damian: You’re not Pennyworth.
Driver: Uh, excuse me, Sir?
Damian: *narrows his eyes and whispers in his ear* He told me he’d pick me up. So why. Aren’t you. Pennyworth.
Driver: I don’t, uh, I’m not – Sir, please don’t – *shaking, sweating, and about to hit the call button on his phone after keying in “911”*
Damian: That won’t be necessary.
Damian: *gets out of the car and dials a number*
Meanwhile…
Alfred: *answers the phone while chopping vegetables* Master Damian, I understand you’re upset, but it’s time you learned other means of transporta– Oh, oh, my dear boy. No, you were not being abandoned, I just thought – Shh, shhh. No more crying. I’m on my way. *click*
Commercial on TV: *in a sexy, masculine voice* “Easy, Breezy, Adorable – Cover Boy” *winks at the camera*
Roy: *snorts*
Wally: *covering his mouth to stifle his giggling*
Garth: "Wow, Grayson… You could sell water to me and I’d totally buy it.“
Roy and Wally: *break out into belly laughter*
Dick: *places the pizza box on the coffee table and switches the channel* "Ha ha, very funny. I’m undercover, remember?”
Donna: *grabs a pizza and nods in mock seriousness* “Oh, we know, UnderCover Boy.” *winks*
~ * ~ * ~ * ~
JASON:
Chiseled features? Ooooh, ✔. Previous modeling experience as a villain pretending to be Nightwing (in canon)?
✔. Also linked to a Tamaranian super model?
✔ (But they’re “just friends, okay?”).
Discovered by an agent while trying to break into a warehouse of a well-known fashion corporation to rescue child laborers (accepted the job to gain access to the higher-ups)
>>> — <<<
Red Hood: “That’s me, dude.” *gestures at a billboard before lighting his cigarette*
Arsenal: “Where?”
Red Hood: *takes a drag* “There.”
Arsenal: “That’s a calloused hand and a Bear Grylls watch.”
Red Hood: “Yup.”
>>> — <<<
Jason: *catwalking*
Designer: *takes a bow onstage after their entire collection is presented*
Jason: *pounces at the model in front of him*
Audience: *slow-clapping awkwardly*
Later…
Batman [on the comm link]: “It really couldn’t wait, Jason?”
Jason [hiding backstage]: *frantically searching for wet wipes in his weapons bag to remove his makeup* “He was the mark, Bruce!”
Batman: *gritting his teeth* “I know. But did it have to be in front of everyone at Gotham Fashion Week?”
~ * ~ * ~ * ~
TIM:
Used to traveling and working long hours? ✔
and ✔.
He doesn’t model for anything you’d know (unless you’re a superhero, that is).
>>> — <<<
Edna Mode [visiting from the Disney universe]: “Walk for me, Timothy. I want to see how it fits on you."
Red Robin: *struts, then abruptly stops* "Ms. Mode, I know you’re not a big fan of capes, so I was thinking maybe we could add wings instead? I’ve tried them, and they’re actually pretty awesome. They’re also weaponize-able.” *fumbles for his sketches in his utility belt* “I could show you some designs I’ve been working on –”
Edna: *widens her eyes at him* “No wings!”
>>> — <<<
Tim: “And this –” *dabs a brush on some blush, then onto Conner’s face* is supposed to make your face melt.“
Conner: *examining his pinkish cheek through the tiny mirror* "Uhhh… Was this specially formulated for Kryptonian skin?”
Tim: *disappointed that nothing was happening to his best friend’s face* “Oh, dang, that’s right! I figured you were just healing really fast.”
~ * ~ * ~ * ~
DAMIAN:
Mention “OshKosh B’gosh” to him one more time, he dares you. (And learn the hard way, as Jason did, why you’d better not.)
Let’s just say that you don’t hire him; he hires you.
>>> — <<<
Damian: “I would like to model for you.”
Receptionist: “Sir… This is the Gotham Animal Welfare Society.”
Damian: “And I am Damian Wayne. Did I stutter?”
>>> — <<<
Damian: “Perhaps it is time I tell Father to set up a meeting with you and his ‘friends’ in the fashion industry.”
Alfred: “Master Damian, while I am truly flattered, I hardly consider myself a designer.”
Damian: *admiring his reflection in the mirror as he gently sways the green-and-red, hand-sewn thobe with gold accents that he’s wearing*
Alfred: “Besides, why on earth would the world want to see some bloody old butler’s –"
Damian: "Shush, Pennyworth.” *looks down at his feet, his eyes glistening* “You put them all to shame.”
Alfred: *pulls him in for a hug*
~ * ~ * ~ * ~
Oh, @fleetof-fandoms, how I wish I could tag you properly. Thank you for another cool suggestion!
Him: *claps his hands to get the students’ attention* “Okay, so. It’s your turn to try the moves I showed you. I need a volunteer. Who wants to go first?”
Hands: *shoot up in the air before he even finishes saying the word “first”*
Him: *beckons a student over* “You.”
Student: *approaches him*
Him: *chuckles sheepishly and holds up a hand* “Woah there, a little too close. I can, uh, practically smell your breath. *clears his throat* So here’s how it’s going to go. I’m going to tackle you from behind…”
Student: *staring at him dreamily*
Him: “… and you’re supposed to fight back.”
Student: *nodding absentmindedly*
Him: *proceeds to tackle them*
Student: *melts in his arms*
Him: *sighs in frustration*
>>> — <<<
Him: *does a standing double backflip, pulls escrima sticks from his back mid-air, then lands lightly on his feet, pouncing on a dummy*
Class: *silent*
Student: “You want us to do what now?”
JASON:
Him: *demonstrates how to disarm an attacker using a dummy*
Class: *watches in horror as the dummy practically breaks in half*
Him: *growls, stands up, then roughly wipes the sweat off his face*
Him: *finally notices their shock* “But, you know, it’s, um… It’s just one way to do it. You could always improvise.”
>>> — <<<
Student: *approaches him after class* “Mr. Todd, can I just pay you?”
Him: “Well, yeah, these classes aren’t exactly free…”
Student: “I mean, can I just pay you to go around with me?”
Him: “Uh…”
Student: *shaky breath* “It’s just that there’s this bully in my school and…”
Him: “Say no more. It’s on me.”
TIM:
Class: *puzzled*
Student A: “Uh… This is a train station.”
Him: *tossing a blindfold to each of them* Yup.
Student B: “Where exactly are we headed?”
Him: *listens for an oncoming train* On top.
Student C: “Of the train?”
Him: *sipping liquid caffeine from a sachet* Mm-hm.
Student D: *examining the blindfold in their hand, confused* “Yeah… I don’t think any of us are gonna get mugged on top of a train any time soon.”
Him: *wearing his own blindfold and smirking* It’s better to know it and not need it.
>>> — <<<
Class: *puzzled*
Student A: “Uh… This is a computer room.”
Him: *turning the lights on* “Yup. Each of you choose a laptop.”
Student B: “What exactly are we doing here? I thought this was a self-defense class.”
Him: *turning on the state-of-the-art laptop at the front of the room* “Ever heard of cyber bullying?”
DAMIAN:
Him: *drags a heavy crate into the training room and opens it* Line up. Pick your weapon. Then pair up. Do it quickly and *narrows his eyes* quietly.
Student A: *whispering while gingerly touching the tip of an arrowhead* Is this… kryptonite?
Student B: *whispering back while examining the katana in their hand* I don’t know, but I don’t think this is gonna fit in my purse.
>>> — <<<
Him: *pacing around the room* As I was saying, every martial art is – *does a double take* Todd?
Jason: *walking into the dojo with a student* In the flesh. Wassup, little brother?
Student: *points at Damian* That’s the bully I was telling you about!
Him: -Tt-
~ * ~ * ~ * ~
You know, I’ve read great reviews about these self-defense instructors from Gotham City. But I heard Batman might take you in soon after completing their courses, @prison-mikes-bandana . *scoffs* That’s silly.
Glam rock / Heartland rock ; goes by the pseudonym “Azul”; the Artist Formerly Known as Nightsing
He’s an incredible all-around performer, so it should come as no surprise that he’s a natural frontman (or solo act).
He’s constantly reinventing his look (short, long, mullet – you name it, he’s probably sported the hairstyle). And Discowing’s got nothing on the outfits he wears onstage.
People love booking or working with him because he’s very professional (but does have a volatile temper from time to time).
The only thing that he requests for in his hotel room or trailer? A poster of The Flying Graysons. Oh, and cereal. Lots of it.
He actually uses the Cirque–du–Soleil-ish set design, blowing minds all over the world.
He likes calling audience members onto the stage, and never forgets to introduce his bandmates and give credit to those who made the concert possible.
His bodyguards don’t get paid enough for the number (and level of aggression) of fans who throw themselves at him.
He actually responds to fan mail, loves visiting sick fans in the hospitals, and gives warm hugs during meet-and-greets.
A substantial part of the proceeds from all his concerts go to the Martha Wayne Foundation, which supports many schools and orphanages.
His “entourage”? His long-term girlfriend, Kory Anders ( “Azul! Over here! Gotham Gazette! Why haven’t you proposed yet?”), and his childhood best friend, Wally West.
For all his showmanship, he’s notoriously private about his personal life. And, honestly? The spotlight does make him tired.
JASON:
Folk rock / Grunge rock ; goes by the pseudonym “Rason Rodd”
He sings and plays rhythm guitar, while Roy Harper’s on either bass or drums and Lady Artemis slays on lead guitar. Together they’re known as The Outlaws, managed by Mr. Am Not Bizarro.
He sounds so much like Eddie Vedder that it’s eerie. Eerily beautiful.
His debut solo album “I Ain’t No Joker” went straight to #1 on the world charts.
He’s found that music can be an effective political tool, so expect to find him lending his talents, free of charge, to various charities and advocacies. (On that note, he’s already done jail time for his blatantly subversive lyrics.)
He’s on the road so much that he practically lives on the tour bus (that’s always stocked with beer and cigarettes). At this point, he’s… trying not to mind. He’s been away from what he used to consider “home” for so long that he’s not sure where to go.
With The Outlaws and their connections, he holds free music workshops and provides informal foster care for Gotham’s street children, who often don’t have proper adult supervision.
During his downtime, he visits prisons in Gotham City to perform for the inmates, hoping to encourage them. Then he’ll anonymously send their low-income families some groceries every now and then.
It’s either you’ll barely recognize him on the streets because he’s so low-key or know it’s him because he’s wearing something outrageous, like a tinted gas mask or a plague doctor getup, on a grocery run.
TIM:
Rap rock / Electronic rock ; goes simply by his last name, “Drake” (not to be confused with other famous artist Drake or Gotham vigilante Drake or male fowl – “I’m not any of them, alright!”)
He’s moved on from his punk rock roots and has been experimenting with fusion subgenres.
Once in a while, he’ll do reunion performances with former bandmates Bart Allen and Cassandra Sansmark.
Nowadays, he frequently collaborates with other artists with different musical backgrounds, such as rapper D.u.k.e. T and country crooner Conner “Kon” Kent.
He’s notoriously hardworking (and his PA’s got some toned legs from all those coffee runs).
His albums are a hit among the younger demographic, but his famous adoptive father says that he “is extremely proud of my son, but I… I don’t really understand his music.” (Hmm. Makes you wonder if billionaire Bruce Wayne’s got a closet full of Drake’s “Sedimentary / Metamorphic / Igneous – The Anthology”.)
He’s developed his own state-of-the-art software for composing music and even performs live as a hologram (through the help of information technology magnate Barbara Gordon’s company, Oracle).
He’s made the said software, which makes it possible to produce professional-quality music using little to no equipment other than a mobile phone, free and accessible so that aspiring musicians who can’t afford to work in studios can pursue their dreams.
He enjoys discovering new talent, especially among young people who haven’t had as many opportunities as he’s had, and offers to manage them for free.
His on-again-off-again relationship with pop star Stephy Brown has made him a tabloid staple.
When asked by a reporter what he likes to do for fun, he answered, “Sleep” while slowly sinking into the couch.
DAMIAN:
Heavy metal meets orchestra music (think Metallica’s “S&M”concert) ; goes by the pseudonym “Habibi”
He’s a musical prodigy who can play practically any instrument from percussion to wind, but the need for control led him to being a conductor.
Like Timothy, he likes to experiment. His latest project, which he’s very secretive to the media about, has to do with oriental influences. He’s called upon the help of his sister, a musical prodigy like him, Cassandra Cain.
He’s notoriously a perfectionist, which makes it challenging to work with him. (But no one argues that he’s a musical genius, so they put up with it.)
He owns the Wayne Conservatory of Music, which offers full educational scholarships and training programs to the poor youth in Gotham who are musically gifted.
He once told a news reporter that his greatest dream is to conduct the ultimate performance – his obra maestra – starring Azul, Rason Rodd, and Drake.
When he’s not busy in the studio or mentoring budding musicians, he’s just in his mahal (palace), hanging out with his best friend Jon Kent, practicing martial arts, or enjoying the company of his pets.
And in the quiet moments of their famous lives, they dial one number that always brings them back down to earth…
Alfred: *picks up* Hello? I’ve missed you, too, Master – What’s the matter? Why are you crying? Oh, bullocks, don’t listen to what they’re saying… In which part of the world are you right no– Ah, never mind. I’ll just follow the tracker Master Bruce has put on you. I’ll see you in a bit.
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