Tag: tam fox

Tam: *rummaging through Tim’s stuff* Comics? What are you, some kind of nerd?

Tim: Not “some kind” of nerd. I’m the King of Nerds.

Tam: What does that mean?

Tim: Uh, it means if anyone pisses me off, I don’t help them set up their printer.

Tam: *puts arms around Tim* You are so funny.

Tim: Good. Remember that when I take my shirt off.

And show her your 8-pack? Yeah, she’ll definitely forget how funny you are.

Tim: *tightening his tie and straightening out his double-breasted suit in front of a mirror*

Tim: I’m going to the movies with Tam. I don’t want her to think I think it’s a date.

Jason: Do you think it’s a date?

Tim: *clipping his cuff links and shining his black Oxford shoes* No, but she might think I think it’s a date, even though I don’t.

Jason: Or you might think she thinks you think it’s a date, even though she doesn’t.

Tim: *grooming his hair* Are we overthinking this?

Jason: *handing him a bouquet of roses and a box of chocolates* Not at all.

Tam: Tim isn’t the kind of guy I usually go out with…

Jason: Timbo isn’t the kind of guy anyone usually goes out with.

You’re one to talk, Jay. Not exactly a lot of guys resurrected by the Lazarus Pit walking around.

Tim: *stress-eating his fifth Spudnut*

Tim: Now that I’m actually about to go out with Tam, I’m not excited, I’m nauseated.

Damian: Then your meal choice is appropriate. Starch absorbs fluid, which reduces the amount of vomit available for violent expulsion.

Dami, sweetie, you’re not helping.

When you should keep your internal monologue internal (or when you try to be smooth but back down at the last minute)…

Tim [to Tam]: Look, I’m going to count to three. If you don’t kiss me, I’ll realize that this was a big mistake and I’ll return to my seat in humiliation.