Mornings at the Manor…
Jason: *walks into the kitchen groggily*
Dick: *eating Cheerios cheerily*
Jason: *opens the refrigerator*
Jason: *groans*
Jason: *chugs a liter of water directly from the bottle*
Dick: … ?
Jason: I either drank too much or got hit by a train.
Or when you can’t recall if you got clobbered during patrol last night or hung out at a bar till 4 AM with your best bud, Roy.
When your little brother grew up being waited on hand and foot by servants (and Alfred’s on vacation)…
Damian: *carrying his Robin suit* You wash them, you dry them. How hard could it be?
Damian: -Tt-
Dick: So, what’s the problem?
Damian: Which one’s the washer?
When Batman invites the Justice League over for breakfast at the Manor before a mission…
Green Lantern: Alfie, ol’ man, I’d like some scrambled egg whites, dry wheat toast, and Earl Grey tea. *snaps fingers*
Alfred: Really, Mr. Jordan? Well, I’d like some new shoes, a jet pack, and a hairline.
Hal, you are sassing the wrong butler.
Family Patrol Night…
While grapple-hooking from skyscraper to skyscraper…
Robin: Can I go back to Superman’s farm tomorrow?
Batman: Why?
Robin: I want to hang out with Jon.
Batman: What, all of a sudden your father’s not good enough for you?
Robin: …
Robin: It’s not “all of a sudden”.
Family Patrol Night…
Warehouse: *BOOM*
Red Robin: Are you crazy?!
Red Hood: *puts out his cigarette on the ground*
Red Hood: There’re several schools of thought on that.
When you’re concerned about your brother’s social life at school…
Jason: Well, don’t you worry when the other kids make fun of you, Timbo. You’ll show ‘em some day.
Tim: Nobody makes fun of me.
Jason: You’re kidding?
Family Patrol Night…
Red Robin: *disarming the security system at a criminal compound* Uhhh, what do I have to do for you?
Red Hood [on the Comm Link]: *taking down a group of henchmen* Just promise to be sad at my (second) funeral.
Red Robin: *hacking into the control tower mainframe* Do I have to cry?
Red Hood: *activating the timer on an explosive device attached to a chain link fence* No.
Red Robin: *downloading top secret evidence onto a hard drive* Will there be food?
Red Hood: *running away from the site* Yes.
Red Robin: *reclining on the computer chair as he waits for said download to finish* Can I bring a date?
Red Hood: *BOOM*
Red Hood: *static*
Red Hood: *panting* You’re just screwing with me now, right?
Red Robin: *grinning* How does it feel?
Puberty hitting Robin be like…
Damian: Hey, Brown, do you want to see my armpit hair?
Steph: Only if you want to see mine.
Superman: Bruce.
Batman: Yes?
Superman: *takes a deep breath*
Superman: You’re a stalker.
Batman: Hn. I prefer to be called “boundary-challenged”.
When your teenaged brother starts dating…
Damian: These are for you.
Damian: *hands Nell a bouquet of roses*
Nell: *blushing* You didn’t have to do that.
Damian: Really? My brother said I did.
Dick [on the Comm Link with Damian]: *groans*
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