Tag: source: two and a half men

Roy: Is this lifestyle actually making you happy?

Jason: Let me answer that question with another question: Who would you rather be, you or me?

Roy: You’re kidding, right? You have two black eyes, and you’re perched on a scrotum cozy…

Roy: You.

Rescuing your little brother be like…

Red Hood: *lock-picks a chain binding Damian, who’s hanging upside down and is slowly being lowered into a pool of piranhas*

Red Hood: Just remember that I’m doing you a favor, kid.

Robin: -Tt-

Red Hood: Don’t forget it in a few years when I ask you to change my diapers.

Robin: Okay, Todd! Wait, what?

Trying to make up for lost father-and-son time be like…

Damian: Do you really want to do something with me, Father?

Bruce: Yes, Son.

Damian: How about if you drive me to the mall, so I can see a movie with the Teen Titans, and then pick me up when we’re done?

Looks like he’s still bitter about that birthday you missed, Bats.

And the “Big Brother of the Year” Award goes to…

Dick: *baking cookies (Alfred’s recipe)*

Jason: *playing with Titus*

Damian: *arrives from Gotham High*

Damian: *slams his suitcase on the kitchen island*

Dick: …

Jason: …

Damian: *takes a seat on a stool, buries his face in his hands, and groans*

Dick: Soooo… How’s school?

Damian: *muffled* Okay.

Dick: Anything noteworthy happen?

Damian: *muffled* No.

Jason: *throws his hands up in the air* I thought you said he got dumped!

Dick: *through gritted teeth* I was easing into it.

Jason: Oh. Okay, go ahead.

It’s a tie!

When you find out that your brother’s developed a crush…

Jason: *shrugs* She is kind of cute.

Dick: Why don’t you go talk to her?

Jason: I don’t know what to say.

Dick: That’s never stopped you from runnin’ your mouth before.