Batman: *runs after a parademon and into a boomtube*
Robin: *watches in horror as the boomtube closes*
The Flash:
Green Lantern:
The Flash: He left his kid here! He’s got to come back!
Green Lantern: Would you come back for that kid?
The Flash: He’s never coming back.
All kidding aside, we know how far Bruce would go to get Damian back.
Tag: source: two and a half men
Why Batman got the ol’ silent treatment during patrol that night…
Four hours ago, at a Wayne Foundation gala…
Senator: You have wonderful sons, Mr. Wayne.
Bruce: Yes, I do. But Dick, Tim, and Damian must never learn of them.
Senator and Bruce: *pompous laughter*
Dick, Tim, and Damian: …
Batman:
Nightwing, Red Robin, and Robin:
Batman: I’m –
Nightwing, Red Robin, and Robin: *grapple-hook away*
Lighten up, boys. It was just one glass of champagne too many.
Also, Jason’s legally dead, so he’s like, “Meh”.
Dick: You eat a lot of fish. Aren’t you worried about mercury?
Jason: Dick, on the list of things I expect to kill me, mercury poisoning ranks well below liver failure, getting struck by lightning, and being murdered by a clown (again). Guess which one I’m rooting for?
Dick: *cuddling a febrile Damian*
Dick: He’s just going to sleep anyway, and I’ll keep an eye on him, so you can go.
Jason: I don’t know. It doesn’t feel right just abandoning the brat when he’s sick.
Dick: *grins* Congratulations. Now you know what it feels like to be a parent.
Jason: Yeah. How inconvenient.
Because it’s canon that Dick and Damian have a semi-paternal bond (and that Jason cares about his brothers).
At the Batcave’s Minor Procedures Room…
Red Hood: *holding Damian’s hand as Damian’s about to get stitches*
Red Hood: It’s okay, buddy, I’m right here with you. Go ahead, Alf.
Robin: Ow! Ow! Ow!
Red Hood: Hey, please go easy on the kid!
Robin: No, you’re squishing my hand, Todd!
Red Hood: Oh. Sorry. But did you feel the shot?
Robin: No.
Red Hood: You’re welcome.
Alfred: Perhaps you’d prefer to wait in your room, Master Jason.
Red Hood: I’d prefer a morphine drip and a sponge bath, but the kid needs me!
At the Batcave’s Minor Procedures Room…
Red Hood: *holding Damian’s hand as Damian’s about to get stitches*
Red Hood: It’s okay, buddy, I’m right here with you. Go ahead, Alf.
Robin: Ow! Ow! Ow!
Red Hood: Hey, please go easy on the kid!
Robin: No, you’re squishing my hand, Todd!
Red Hood: Oh. Sorry. But did you feel the shot?
Robin: No.
Red Hood: You’re welcome.
Alfred: Perhaps you’d prefer to wait in your room, Master Jason.
Red Hood: I’d prefer a morphine drip and a sponge bath, but the kid needs me!
Tam: *entering the Wayne Enterprises building*
Tim: *fidgeting with his double-breasted suit*
Tim: *closes his eyes for a second, then exhales*
Tim: Do I look okay?
Jason: Timbo, she waved at you, she smiled. Clearly her standards aren’t that high.
Tim: Right, thanks.
When you’re a salty wedding guest…
At Bruce and Selina’s wedding reception…
Usherette: So, are you a friend of the bride or the groom?
Jason: Well, the groom is my father, so… the bride.
So, now that Batman #33 (2017) is out, are we getting a panel or two like this soon?
Tam: *reading Ra’s al Ghul’s casefile* So, how old is this guy?
Tim: Let me put it this way: He was one of the original investors in Apple, the fruit.
Rescuing your brother be like…
Robin: *successfully hacks into the mainframe and shuts down the forcefield that trapped Tim*
Red Robin: *smirks* You came back for me. You love me.
Robin: I pity you.
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