And the “Big Brother of the Year” Award goes to…
Dick: *baking cookies (Alfred’s recipe)*
Jason: *playing with Titus*
Damian: *arrives from Gotham High*
Damian: *slams his suitcase on the kitchen island*
Dick: …
Jason: …
Damian: *takes a seat on a stool, buries his face in his hands, and groans*
Dick: Soooo… How’s school?
Damian: *muffled* Okay.
Dick: Anything noteworthy happen?
Damian: *muffled* No.
Jason: *throws his hands up in the air* I thought you said he got dumped!
Dick: *through gritted teeth* I was easing into it.
Jason: Oh. Okay, go ahead.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~
It’s tie.
Tag: source: two and a half men
Rescuing your brother be like…
Robin: *successfully hacks into the mainframe and shuts down the forcefield that trapped Tim*
Red Robin: *smirks* You came back for me. You love me.
Robin: I pity you.
Batman: The depths of your degeneracy continue to astound me.
Red Hood: Really? Still?
Flirting with a geeky, sleep-deprived, teenaged vigilante be like…
Tim: You smell like strawberries.
Tam: It’s my lip gloss.
Tim: Does it taste like it smells?
Tam: *grins* You wanna find out?
Tim: Sure!
Tam: *leans in to kiss him*
Tim: *uses a finger to wipe lip gloss off her lips, then tastes it*
Tim: Mmmm.
When your younger brother’s the CEO of a multibillion-dollar company…
Jason: Timbo, I need 75 bucks for the new Arkham Knight game.
Tim: *deadpan stare*
Tim: 75 bucks for a video game?
Jason: Yes. See it as an investment.
Tim: *narrowed eyes* An investment?
Jason: Yes. See it this way: If I become a villain with “daddy issues” in another universe, I’ll already know how to do it properly.
When your best friend wants to officially introduce your team of outlaws to Batman…
Arsenal: I’d rather not be the cause of further estrangement between you and your dad, Dude.
Red Hood: To be fair, my “dad” was already “estrange” before you met him. *finger-guns*
At the Batcave’s Minor Procedures Room…
Alfred: *filling a syringe with anesthesia*
Red Hood: *gripping Damian’s hand with both of his*
Red Hood: It’s okay, little buddy, I’m right here with you. Go ahead, Alf.
Robin: Ow! Ow! Ow!
Red Hood: Hey, please go easy on the kid!
Robin: No, you’re squishing my hand, Todd!
Red Hood: Oh. Sorry. But did you feel the shot?
Robin: *glances at the newly emptied syringe being held by Alfred*
Robin: No.
Red Hood: You’re welcome.
Alfred: Perhaps you’d prefer to wait in your room, Master Jason.
Red Hood: I’d prefer a morphine drip and a sponge bath, but the kid needs me!
After finding out that Red Hood’s a former Robin…
Superman: I know this comes as a shock to you –
Batman: Please, Clark. If I had a nickel for every time one of my sons died, got resurrected by an assassin overlord’s daughter, and came back as a lethal antihero, I’d haVE A NICKEL!
Jason: *picks up a piece of paper by the phone*
Jason: Timbo, what’s this? A phone message?
Tim: Yeah. Some dude called for you.
Jason: Who? I can’t read your handwriting.
Tim: *reads the message out loud* “You’re a big, selfish jerk.”
Jason: Okay, I know who it is.
Tim: Probably Roy.
Jason: Yup, Roy.
After finding out that Red Hood’s a former Robin…
Superman: I know this comes as a shock to you –
Batman: Please, Clark. If I had a nickel for every time one of my sons died, got resurrected by an assassin overlord’s daughter, and came back as a lethal antihero, I’d haVE A NICKEL!
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