When Red Robin comes back to the land of the living…
Jason [to Tim]: Look at you! All grown up and back living with Bruce… How good do you feel about yourself right now, on a scale from one to two?
Tag: source: two and a half men
Alfred: *humming while reading lab results on the Batcomputer*
Alfred: The good news, Master Jason, is that you are a perfectly healthy 50-year-old man.
Jason: Alf, I’m only 19!
Alfred: Tell that to your liver.
Dick: Let’s face it, we’re both too old for the MTV lifestyle.
Wally: MTV? Did they just defrost you?!
Batman: The depths of your degeneracy continue to astound me.
Red Hood: Really? Still?
Flirting with a geeky, sleep-deprived, teenaged vigilante be like…
Tim: You smell like strawberries.
Tam: It’s my lip gloss.
Tim: Does it taste like it smells?
Tam: *grins* You wanna find out?
Tim: Sure!
Tam: *leans in to kiss him*
Tim: *uses a finger to wipe lip gloss off her lips, then tastes it*
Tim: Mmmm.
Damian: *guarding the door at Red Robin’s Nest*
Tim: *on a gurney*
Jason: *knocks*
Damian: *opens the door* Todd, this really isn’t the best time. Drake is pretty sick.
Jason: Oh, no. Poor Timbo. Is Damian taking good care of you?
Tim: Not really.
Jason: Would you like me to take care of you?
Tim: Not really.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Where’re Alfred and Dick when you need ‘em?
Dick: Hey, hey. Maple Loops is part of a nutritious and balanced breakfast.
Wally: Yeah, if you eat it with a steak and some broccoli.
At the Batcave’s Minor Procedures Room…
Alfred: *filling a syringe with anesthesia*
Red Hood: *gripping Damian’s hand with both of his*
Red Hood: It’s okay, little buddy, I’m right here with you. Go ahead, Alf.
Robin: Ow! Ow! Ow!
Red Hood: Hey, please go easy on the kid!
Robin: No, you’re squishing my hand, Todd!
Red Hood: Oh. Sorry. But did you feel the shot?
Robin: *glances at the newly emptied syringe being held by Alfred*
Robin: No.
Red Hood: You’re welcome.
Alfred: Perhaps you’d prefer to wait in your room, Master Jason.
Red Hood: I’d prefer a morphine drip and a sponge bath, but the kid needs me!
Sparring session at the Batcave…
Nightwing: *lights up escrima sticks*
Red Hood: *cocks guns*
Red Robin: *twirls Bo staff*
Robin: *pulls sword out of scabbard*
Robin: *pushes it back*
Red Robin: *smirks* What are you afraid of?
Robin: I’m afraid I’m gonna hit you all so hard that I’ll be an only child.
And he didn’t mean that to be cocky this time. It’s a legitimate concern.
When your best friend wants to officially introduce your team of outlaws to Batman…
Arsenal: I’d rather not be the cause of further estrangement between you and your dad, Dude.
Red Hood: To be fair, my “dad” was already “estrange” before you met him. *finger-guns*
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 