When you desperately want to go on patrol with Batman…
While swinging from building to building…
Batman: Any homework for the weekend?
Robin: Nope.
Batman: Hrrn.
Robin: Okay, yes.
Batman: Dick, do we have to go through this discussion every Friday?
Robin: I’d rather we didn’t.
Dick: You cracked the parental code on the cable box again, didn’t you?
Damian: It’s “1234”. Even a monkey could crack that, Grayson.
Really, Dick? Really?
Dick: You cracked the parental code on the cable box again, didn’t you?
Damian: It’s “1234”. Even a monkey could crack that, Grayson.
Really, Dick? Really?
Dick: *hangs a picture of Superman on his wall*
Jason: Okay, do yourself a favor and stop worshipping this dude. There’s already a guy in your life who’s worth looking up to and modeling yourself after.
Dick: Bruce?
Jason: … Okay, two guys.
Alfred? No, Dick. Wally? Guess again. … Tim? Oh, for the love of – !
When asked what injuries members of the Batfamily commonly sustain…
Jason: Last summer Dick actually fractured his butt doing a cannonball into the bath tub.
Dick: Is there anything you eat that makes you sick?
Wally: *shrugs* I ate a worm once.
Hypermetabolism, ultra-fast healing, and all that.
After finding out that Red Hood’s a former Robin…
Superman: I know this comes as a shock to you –
Batman: Please, Clark. If I had a nickel for every time one of my sons died, got resurrected by an assassin overlord’s daughter, and came back as a lethal antihero, I’d haVE A NICKEL!
Sparring session at the Batcave…
Nightwing: *lights up escrima sticks*
Red Hood: *cocks guns*
Red Robin: *twirls Bo staff*
Robin: *pulls sword out of scabbard*
Robin: *pushes it back*
Red Robin: *smirks* What are you afraid of?
Robin: I’m afraid I’m gonna hit you all so hard that I’ll be an only child.
And he didn’t mean that to be cocky this time. It’s a legitimate concern.
Batman:
Justice League:
Batman: *has four pairs of pixie boots under his cape and two domino mask-covered pairs of eyes peeking out of it*
Justice League: …
Superman: So, Bruce… Why didn’t you tell us you had children?
Batman: Okay, here’s the deal. I didn’t want you to know.
Because he works alone, okay?
At the Batcave’s Minor Procedures Room…
Red Hood: *holding Damian’s hand as Damian’s about to get stitches*
Red Hood: It’s okay, buddy, I’m right here with you. Go ahead, Alf.
Robin: Ow! Ow! Ow!
Red Hood: Hey, please go easy on the kid!
Robin: No, you’re squishing my hand, Todd!
Red Hood: Oh. Sorry. But did you feel the shot?
Robin: No.
Red Hood: You’re welcome.
Alfred: Perhaps you’d prefer to wait in your room, Master Jason.
Red Hood: I’d prefer a morphine drip and a sponge bath, but the kid needs me!
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