Jason: Hey, Alfred, where’s Bruce?
Alfred: Master Bruce is… resting.
Jason: Resting “brooding? Resting “shot through the timestream by Omega Beams”? Come on, help me out here.
Tag: source: the simpsons
At the Titans Tower…
Robin [about the rest of the Teen Titans]: *muttering angrily* I’ll show them who’s “just a kid”!
Nightwing: *yelling from the room across the hall* Damian, bedtime! I laid out your jammy-jams!
Old, old, old and still as stubborn as ever…
Dick: Bruce, you shouldn’t wear glasses that weren’t prescribed for you.
Bruce: Dick, just because you’re ten feet tall, it doesn’t mean you can tell me what to do.
Tim: I’m Tim.
Dick: Gimme those!
Why Dick is Damian’s favorite older brother…
Tim [about Damian]: In a way, I think we learned more from him than he learned from us.
Jason: Well, obviously. Because we taught him nothing.
Nightwing: *sees what Batman and Red Robin are up to* Tracking software? You’re spying on Damian!
Batman: Dick, keeping track of someone because you love them is not wrong. It shows you care.
[Scene cuts to Deathstroke on a nearby rooftop, listening in via a bugging device attached to the Batmobile]
Deathstroke: That’s right, my dear Dick Grayson. *sinister laugh* Soon, you’ll be mine.
[Scene cuts to two FBI agents in a surveillance truck]
FBI Agent #1: *observing Deathstroke via a spy camera* Keep talking, creepo.
FBI Agent #2: Every word buys you a year in the slammer.
At the Titans Tower…
Pizza Delivery Guy: Why are all these pizzas piling up?
Dick: Wally West went on a diet.
Pizza Delivery Guy: Oh, crud! I just bought a boat!
When your billionaire father’s also a vigilante who doesn’t have time to ponder how much gifts for teenagers cost…
Tim: Bruce, um, can I have some money to buy Damian a birthday present?
Bruce: Here you go.
Tim: *counts the money* Bruce, this is $110!
Bruce: Oh, sorry. *hands him the whole wallet*
When Batman tucks you in…
Damian: …
Damian: Pennyworth.
Damian: Could you loosen my blanket a little? Father tucked me in too tight and it’s cutting off the circulation in my arms and legs.
Barbara: You’re a heartless jerk!
Jason: Where did that come from?!
Jason: Oh, right. My actions.
When the Batboys realized that it wasn’t wise to leave their youngest brother with a house guest…
Damian: We left plenty of food so you won’t starve.
Conner: Thank you.
Damian: I was talking to the cat!
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