When you have occasional alliances with rogues with doctorates…
Harley Quinn: First of all, Bats, let me assure ya that Jason’s antics are perfectly normal for a sixteen-year-old (who, ya know, came back from the dead).
Batman: Actually, he’s nineteen, Harleen.
Harley Quinn: Oh, dear. Dear, dear, dear, dear, dear.
Tag: source: the simpsons
Why he sometimes regrets inviting colleagues to his kids’ recitals…
Bruce: *weeping with pride as Cass dances on stage* My daughter, my daughter…
Oliver: Come on, Bruce, she’s not that bad.
Batman [to a criminal]: *gripping him tightly by the collar* You think you’ve got guts? Try raising my kids!
He’s… tired.
Robin: Todd, I’m going to jump off this skyscraper.
Red Hood: You know, kid, as the only adult here, I feel like I should say something.
Robin: What?
Red Hood: Cool!
DC: Robin! I need to use you in a story arc.
Robin: You want me to be in the series?
DC: It’s just a few panels. Your predecessor’s supposed to be in ‘em, but he’s dead.
Robin: Dead?!
DC: Or pretending to be. I don’t know. I forget.
DC: Robin! I need to use you in a story arc.
Robin: You want me to be in the series?
DC: It’s just a few panels. Your predecessor’s supposed to be in ‘em, but he’s dead.
Robin: Dead?!
DC: Or pretending to be. I don’t know. I forget.
Red Tornado: Kid Flash has been implanted with several highly powerful tracking devices.
Robin: How did that happen?!
Red Tornado: I left them in a bowl and he ate them.
When you’re trying to convince your best friend that a billionaire’s son is just as capable of doing farm work…
Damian [to Jon]: I’m blue collar! I’m absolutely blue collar. My father owns a shovel.
What he actually means is that his father owns a company that supplies shovels.
How to check if Damian actually cares (or how Jason ended up strapped to the giant Joker card in the Batcave)…
Damian: Where is Drake?
Jason: I’m sorry… Timmy never woke up.
Damian: What?!?!
Jason: Never woke up because he never passed out. He’s right over there.
Bruce: Are you kidding?! Cassandra turned out perfect! I won’t sit here and listen to you badmouthing your sister.
Tim and Damian: We’re talking about Jason.
Bruce: Oh. That guy.
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