Sage advice…
Damian [to Jon]: Things change when you hit the big 1-O. Your legs start to go, candy doesn’t taste as good anymore.
Tag: source: the simpsons
When your father decides that it’s time for you to be a responsible adult vigilante and earn money for your own “toys”…
Batman: So maybe a part-time job is the answer.
Red Hood: Aw, Bruce, I couldn’t ask you to do that. You’re already running Wayne Enterprises, and Damian is such a handful –
Red Robin: He means you should get a job, stupid.
Jason: Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean that I don’t understand.
On what it’s like working for Bruce Wayne…
Alfred: Actually, I value every second we are together, from the moment I squeeze his orange juice at midnight, till I tuck him in at two in the afternoon. He is not just my employer, he is my son, too.
Visiting a Wayne Foundation-sponsored orphanage…
Damian: Aaaah! There’s something on my leg! Get it off, get it off!
Alfred: Master Damian, it’s just a baby!
At the Titans Tower…
Pizza Delivery Guy: Why are all these pizzas piling up?
Dick: Wally West went on a diet.
Pizza Delivery Guy: Oh, crud! I just bought a boat!
Meanwhile, at Gotham Academy…
Damian: Hello, classmates. Instead of voting for some athletic hero or a pretty boy, you have elected me, your intellectual superior, as your king. Good for you!
To be fair, you’re kind of all of those things, Dami.
Bruce, on his deathbed: Goodbye, Dick. Stay as sweet as you are. Goodbye, Tim. I know you’ll make me proud. Goodbye, Jason… I like your jacket.
Batman: *lying on a gurney in the Batcave*
Superman: Is he well enough for me to start mothering him unbearably, Alfred?
Alfred: Hmm. Better let him rest up a while first.
Robin: Todd, I’m going to jump off this skyscraper.
Red Hood: You know, kid, as the only adult here, I feel like I should say something.
Robin: What?
Red Hood: Cool!
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