Jason: Wow. Little Timmy, the new CEO of Wayne Enterprises. I feel so full of… What’s the opposite of shame?
Dick: Pride?
Jason: No, not that far from shame.
Dick: Less shame?
Jason: *beaming with pride* Yeah.
Tag: source: the simpsons
At a Wayne Foundation gala…
Jason: *trying to loosen his bowtie and grabbing a glass of champagne from a passing server’s tray* I just don’t want to be here, Dick.
Jason: Besides, this morning I started a fire on the lawn that I really should keep an eye on.
Oh, is that what “Alfred – 52 missed calls” was all about?
Bruce: Tim, I really don’t like you telling personal secrets to the Teen Titans.
Tim: Bruce, I didn’t tell ‘em personal stuff.
Bruce: Today at the Justice League meeting everyone knew that I dyed my white hairs black.
Tim: Oh, you mean about you?
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
It’s just that even in the rare moments that he’s asleep, your son’s mind is going a mile a minute and his mouth goes along with it, Batman.
Damian: *watching Conner and Jon play catch in midair* I want a brother.
Jason: You can have mine *gestures to Tim*, but he’s kind of an idiot.
Dami, three not enough for you?
Dick: I missed you so much that I couldn’t concentrate in school and I got an “F”, Bruce!
Bruce: This is dated two weeks ago.
Dick: Oh, sorry. *takes out a crumpled slip of paper from his pocket* Here’s a fresh one.
Really, Richard? It had nothing to do with Robin’s secret patrols with Superman?
Regaling your older brother with stories from your Poetry Class be like…
Damian: … and, one night, we spoke only in lines from famous poems, Todd.
Jason: Because I could not stop for Death, he kindly stopped for me.
Damian: Hn. Emily Dickson?
Jason: Nah. I was just describing my day.
Tim: Jason is more than a brother to me. He’s the reason I get up in the morning because he injects coffee into the back of my head at six in the morning.
Jason, nuh-uh *confiscates syringe*. And, Timothy, why?
Tim: *crying* I can’t believe Steph dumped me.
Jason: Now, now, Timbo. Girls come and go, but you’ll always have your family.
Tim: *cries even harder* Ahhhh!
Jason: *also starts crying* You’re right! You’re right!
When your best friend tells you that you can’t see each other anymore…
Arsenal: Are you saying that our entire relationship is based on lies?!
Red Hood: Not our entire relationship. Just the stuff that I said.
Dropping the Robins off at Gotham Academy…
Alfred: *wipes away tears and sighs* Your first day at your father’s former school.
Bruce: Tim, have fun. Jason, don’t!
He just doesn’t want you to end up expelled like he did. (Also, are you sure you want Tim to have “fun” at a place full of conspiracies, Bruce? Also-also, you know that Jason’s idea of fun is scouring the library for classics, right?)
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