Patrol gone awry…
Robin: *angrily stomps into the Batcave*
Red Robin: *wearily takes off his combat boots*
Red Hood: *has a leather jacket tug-of-war with Ace the Bathound*
Nightwing: So… What happened out there?
Robin: Chalk that one up to Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Douche over there.
Nightwing: Who’re they?
Red Robin and Robin: They’re both Jason.
Tag: source: the office
Dining out with your best friend be like…
Bruce [to waiter]: I will have a glass of your oakiest chardonnay, please.
Clark: And I will have a waffle with your maple-iest syrup.
Nightwing: *passionately yelling at Batman* Are you trying to hurt my feelings, Bruce?!
Batman:
Nightwing: *approaches him for a hug* Because if so, you’re succeeding. Fortunately, my feelings regenerate at twice the speed of a normal man’s.
Giving your brother a tour of your “nest” be like…
Tim: *gesturing vaguely towards what may or may not be a kitchen counter* I still have my coffee machine from Kon.
Jason: *lifting a leg up to avoid stepping on a scurrying rat* Do you even have a mattress?
Tim: *fishing out a box of Pop-Tarts from a pile of clothes on the floor* No, but I still have my coffee machine from Kon.
Visiting your older brother’s Blüdhaven apartment be like…
Red Hood: *spits out his drink* What kind of tea is this?
Dick: *heating leftovers in the kitchen* Oh, I boiled some Gatorade.
Post-traning session at the Manor…
Nightwing: *trying to catch his breath and wiping sweat off his face*
Red Hood: *examining his broken helmet while holding an ice pack against his temple*
Red Robin: *throwing his halved bo staff into the fireplace*
Nightwing [to Robin]: In everyone’s defense, I think the most worthy opponent of yours is… you.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Well, since your sisters were out shopping during this whole ordeal, one cannot say that with absolute certainty.
“Batman v Superman”…
Batman: I’m going to own your farm by the time this is over.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Your heat vision’s nothing to his billions of dollars, Clark.
“Do You Bleed?” AU
Damian: Damian Wayne does not lose battles.
Damian: He wins them.
Damian: Or he quits them because they are unfair.
Bruce [to the rest of the Batfamily]: You couldn’t handle my undivided attention.
Bruce, Dick, Tim and Alfred: *run into Jason’s bedroom after hearing a scuffle from upstairs*
Jason: *has Damian pinned to the wall*
Damian: *choking Jason*
Jason: *struggling to talk* Nothing to be alarmed about, people. It’s just a man pointing a bull tranquilizer at his little brother.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 