Tim: *mumbles incoherently*
Jason: *walks past him*
Jason: *takes a few steps back*
Jason: I’m giving you the silent treatment, by the way. That’s why I walked right by you and didn’t respond.
Jay, you do realize that Timmy’s probably too sleep-deprived to even remember that you’re pissed at him for some reason, right? Also, that’s not how you do “mad”.
When you’re trying to give your youngest son the “birds and bees” talk but your other sons want to stick around to see how it goes…
Bruce [to Damian]: *opens mouth to talk*
Bruce: *hears a camera shutter sound*
Bruce: Hn.
Bruce: *opens mouth to talk again*
Bruce: *notices the reflection of three heads peeking from a crevice in the cave on the Batcomputer screen*
Bruce [to Damian]: Oh, good, everyone’s in here. I was worried we’d have a private conversation for once.
A voice from the crevice: You’re welcome, Bruce!
Mornings at the Manor…
Jason: *brushes his teeth*
Jason: *pauses*
Jason: *exasperated sigh*
Jason [to Dick]: You’re flirting with your reflection again. Cut it out.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
And that is why “NEW BATHROOM – Jason” is a suggestion found in the Wayne Manor Home Improvement suggestion box (set up by Alfred).
When your fathers are currently not on good terms and you’re not allowed to hang out for a while…
Dick [to Damian and Jon]: Are you planning to “Parent Trap” them? Are you the Lindsay Lohans?
When you’re still pissed at your brother for pulling a prank on you during patrol…
Jason: Hey, Timbo, I gotta ask you something –
Tim: *cups an ear* What is that I hear? The ga-ga-ga-ghost of someone who’s dead to me?
Well, for a time, he was dead to everyone.
Jason: *crosses off some boxes on a calendar*
Tim: *typing furiously on the Batcomputer*
Tim: *red eyes with dark rings underneath them, ivory-pale skin, coffee-stained shirt (Or is that blood?)*
Jason: …
Jason: So, how many hours of energy did you drink this time?
He’s more zombie than you are, Jay.
When you should keep your internal monologue internal (or when you try to be smooth but back down at the last minute)…
Tim [to Tam]: Look, I’m going to count to three. If you don’t kiss me, I’ll realize that this was a big mistake and I’ll return to my seat in humiliation.
When your youngest brother threatens you (and your other brothers) but you really just want to live in peace…
Jason [to Damian]: Look, kid, I don’t have a problem with you. I just don’t want to hang out with you if I don’t have to.
If you thought Red Hood’s safe house was impeccable, wait till you have dinner at Robin’s…
Jason [to Damian]: Are you kidding me? Assigned seats? What is this, the Oscars?
Date Night be like…
Tim: *typing away on the Batcomputer, eyes completely focused on the screen*
Steph: *sighs*
Tim: *bites into a bagel, then absentmindedly hands it to her*
Steph: *crosses arms*
Tim: *goes through the evidence box that Bruce left for him*
Steph: *taps foot impatiently*
Tim: *resumes working on the Batcomputer*
Tim: So, uh, did you ever get your period? That was a big thing the last time we talked.
Steph:
And that’s how Red Robin went on patrol with a hand-shaped mark on his face the next night. (“Will you just leave it alone, Jason?”)
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