When Batman gets a cold…
Superman: Bruce, don’t you think you’re overreacting?
Batman: *rummaging through his file cabinets and lab equipment in the Batcave*
Batman: When I’m lying comatose in a hospital, relying on inferior minds to cure me, these cultures and my accompanying notes will give them a fighting chance, Clark.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Shoot at him. Set him on fire. Send him to alternate dimensions not compatible with human survival. Just… not the common cold.
Tag: source: the big bang theory
Telling your teammates about your little brother be like…
Cassie: You… you know you’re describing a dog, right?
Tim: He did bite me once.
Taking your circus-raised son to a gala be like…
Dick: *grabs three empty champagne flutes from a table*
Dick: Have you ever tried to juggle?
Bruce: Yes. I’m juggling my love for you and my embarrassment of you right now.
When your eldest brother asks you to look after his Blüdhaven apartment while he’s away on a mission…
Red Robin: Oh, come on, Dick’s a grown man. He can take care of himself.
Red Hood: *opens the refrigerator to reveal a bottle of curdy milk, a half-eaten sandwich, and a bowl of soggy Cheerios*
Red Hood: *looking unimpressed* You really believe that?
Damian: Drake’s upset with me, and I’m not clear as to why.
Jason: Okay, were you talking before you he got upset?
Damian: Yes.
Jason: That’s probably it.
Dick and Jason: *watching as Tim downs his fourth cup of coffee, spilling some on his ketchup and mustard-stained shirt, burps loudly, and wipes dried slobber off his face*
Dick: *sighs*
Jason: I love him, but if he’s broken, let’s ask Bruce not to get a new one.
When it’s your last night at the Manor before you go back to your own safe house and your little brother’s being a creep…
Jason:
Jason: *eyelids fluttering*
Jason: *eyes wide open*
Damian:
Jason:
Damian: I’m listening to you snore. I’m wondering how I’ll ever sleep without it.
Jason: If it helps you sleep, then why are you perched on my bedpost staring at me like a tiny boogeyman?
Damian: Really, Todd? Insults? After I spent two hours in your closet waiting for you to fall asleep?
When you visit your eldest brother’s Blüdhaven apartment and ask him (authoritatively) to pick up after himself…
Damian: Why are you being a baby, Grayson?
Dick: I’m not a baby! I’m a grown man and I made my bed! Now where’s my Coco Crunch?
Mornings at the Manor…
Tim: *wiping the sleep from his eyes and yawwwwwwniiiing*
Dick: *in a contorted bodily position beyond human understanding* Hey, Timmy. Want to do yoga with me?
Tim: Um, let me just have some coffee first, and then I’ll have the strength to tell you how much I won’t be doing that.
Batman: Jason, would it make you feel better to hear that I approved of your life choices?
Red Hood: Yes, it would.
Batman: Hn. Well, you should work on that.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 