incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

When you overstay your welcome at Red Hood’s safe house…

Jason: *hopping over mounds of bloody patrol suits and broken weapons while picking up dirty dishes*

Tim and Damian: *playing Injustice 2 on Xbox while yelling threats at each other*

Dick: *pouring milk on his cereal and spilling some on the carpet*

Jason: I don’t know when I became a dad to three lazy teenagers, but it stops today. You guys are cleaning this place up, top to bottom!

Dick: Hey, we don’t even live here!

Jason: Yes or no, do you have clothes in my laundry right now?

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

When your eldest brother asks you to look after his Blüdhaven apartment while he’s away on a mission…

Red Robin: Oh, come on, Dick’s a grown man. He can take care of himself.

Red Hood: *opens the refrigerator to reveal a bottle of curdy milk, a half-eaten sandwich, and a bowl of soggy Cheerios*

Red Hood: *looking unimpressed* You really believe that?

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Mornings at the Manor…

Damian: *cutting down animal-shaped shrubs on the lawn with a katana*

Dick: *watches Damian through the kitchen window while eating his cereal*

Dick: *grinning* His quirks just make you love him more.

Alfred: *blinks*

Alfred: *continues cooking omelettes*

Jason: *aggressively stuffs his mouth with pancakes*

Tim: *chokes on his coffee*

Bruce: *hides behind the Gotham Gazette* Dick:

Dick: *jaws aching* Someone please agree with me.

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

When you’re doing surveillance and bored out of your mind and your little brother’s “lectures” aren’t helping…

Robin: What are you doing now, Todd?

Red Hood: *rolling up a piece of paper* Making a straw.

Robin: Why?

Red Hood: So I can shoot you with a spitball.

Robin: You’re not going to do that, and I’ll tell you why. This is a mission, I am your partner, and you’re going to treat me with the prop – *chokes a bit* You shot your spit in my mouth!

Red Hood: Is this gonna be a long night? Because I don’t think I could do that again.

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Mornings at the Manor…

Tim: *wiping the sleep from his eyes and yawwwwwwniiiing*

Dick: *in a contorted bodily position beyond human understanding* Hey, Timmy. Want to do yoga with me?

Tim: Um, let me just have some coffee first, and then I’ll have the strength to tell you how much I won’t be doing that.

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Mornings at the Manor…

Jason: *munching on strawberry-flavored Poptarts*

Tim: *staring blankly ahead*

Jason: *waves a hand in front of his brother’s face*

Tim:

Jason: *snaps his fingers*

Tim:

Jason: *tips the big mug of coffee over, spilling its contents*

Tim: *slowly turns his head to face Jason*

Jason: You’re being so quiet. Are you upset or are you just rebooting?