When you overstay your welcome at Red Hood’s safe house…
Jason: *hopping over mounds of bloody patrol suits and broken weapons while picking up dirty dishes*
Tim and Damian: *playing Injustice 2 on Xbox while yelling threats at each other*
Dick: *pouring milk on his cereal and spilling some on the carpet*
Jason: I don’t know when I became a dad to three lazy teenagers, but it stops today. You guys are cleaning this place up, top to bottom!
Dick: Hey, we don’t even live here!
Jason: Yes or no, do you have clothes in my laundry right now?
Tag: source: the big bang theory
Undercover missions with resident Batfamily “fashion icon”, Richard John Grayson…
Jason: Will you take that stupid red hat off?
Dick: No! I want to blend in.
Jason: To what? “Toy Story”?
When you’ve got some serious “street cred” to protect…
Jason: What?! I am not a crybaby.
Tim: “Toy Story 3”?
Jason: They were holding hands in a furnace, Tim!
When your eldest brother asks you to look after his Blüdhaven apartment while he’s away on a mission…
Red Robin: Oh, come on, Dick’s a grown man. He can take care of himself.
Red Hood: *opens the refrigerator to reveal a bottle of curdy milk, a half-eaten sandwich, and a bowl of soggy Cheerios*
Red Hood: *looking unimpressed* You really believe that?
Mornings at the Manor…
Damian: *cutting down animal-shaped shrubs on the lawn with a katana*
Dick: *watches Damian through the kitchen window while eating his cereal*
Dick: *grinning* His quirks just make you love him more.
Alfred: *blinks*
Alfred: *continues cooking omelettes*
Jason: *aggressively stuffs his mouth with pancakes*
Tim: *chokes on his coffee*
Bruce: *hides behind the Gotham Gazette* Dick:
Dick: *jaws aching* Someone please agree with me.
When you visit your eldest brother’s Blüdhaven apartment and ask him (authoritatively) to pick up after himself…
Damian: Why are you being a baby, Grayson?
Dick: I’m not a baby! I’m a grown man and I made my bed! Now where’s my Coco Crunch?
When you’re doing surveillance and bored out of your mind and your little brother’s “lectures” aren’t helping…
Robin: What are you doing now, Todd?
Red Hood: *rolling up a piece of paper* Making a straw.
Robin: Why?
Red Hood: So I can shoot you with a spitball.
Robin: You’re not going to do that, and I’ll tell you why. This is a mission, I am your partner, and you’re going to treat me with the prop – *chokes a bit* You shot your spit in my mouth!
Red Hood: Is this gonna be a long night? Because I don’t think I could do that again.
Mornings at the Manor…
Tim: *wiping the sleep from his eyes and yawwwwwwniiiing*
Dick: *in a contorted bodily position beyond human understanding* Hey, Timmy. Want to do yoga with me?
Tim: Um, let me just have some coffee first, and then I’ll have the strength to tell you how much I won’t be doing that.
Batman: Jason, would it make you feel better to hear that I approved of your life choices?
Red Hood: Yes, it would.
Batman: Hn. Well, you should work on that.
Mornings at the Manor…
Jason: *munching on strawberry-flavored Poptarts*
Tim: *staring blankly ahead*
Jason: *waves a hand in front of his brother’s face*
Tim:
Jason: *snaps his fingers*
Tim:
Jason: *tips the big mug of coffee over, spilling its contents*
Tim: *slowly turns his head to face Jason*
Jason: You’re being so quiet. Are you upset or are you just rebooting?