source: the big bang theory – Page 21 – incorrect-batfamily-quotes

Roy: Jaybird, you’re my best friend. Why don’t you ever take my side?

Jason: Because I can never understand your side!

Tim: *equipping Goliath’s cage with a retinal scan and a handprint-protected lock, security cameras, and a motion-activated forcefield*

Tim: You do realize I’m doing this for free, right?

Damian: Yes, and so far I’m still not getting my money’s worth.

Tim: Wow. Dick’s pissed off and Jason was right. What a weird day.

When your vigilante boyfriend from Gotham City finds out you’re being picked on…

Damian: *brandishes his katana* You insulted my woman. I’m here to defend her honor.

Tam: *gets off the phone*

Red Robin: *perched on her window sill* Who were you talking to?

Tam: Just this guy I met at school.

Red Robin: We’re still dating, right?

Stop pretending you didn’t wiretap that conversation, Timmy.

When Robin returned from his “Year of Blood”…

Nightwing: *sniffling* He left a boy. He returns a boy-sized hero.

Steph: I’m just a blonde monkey to you, aren’t I?

Damian: You said it, not me.

And the “Big Brother of the Year" Award goes to…

Jason: *polishing his knives*

Damian: Todd, can I ask you a question about women?

Jason: I got you that book last year. Wasn’t everything in there?

That’s not what you give 12-year-old boys, Jay.

Damian: Drake, you don’t think I’m condescending, do you?

Tim: *clears throat* Well…

Damian: Oh, I’m sorry. “Condescending” means –

Tim: I know what it means. And, yes, you like to correct people and put them down.

Damian: Au contraire. When I correct people, I’m raising them up. You should know. I do it for you more than anyone else.

Trying to (apologetically) explain your little brother’s condescending attitude to his teammates be like…

Red Robin [to the Teen Titans]: Damian doesn’t know when he’s being mean because the part of his brain that should know is getting a wedgie from the rest of his brain.