When your boyfriend returns from a successful month-long mission with the League of Assassins and tries to make up for the lack of communication…
Tim [to Tam]: Well, this time it’s going to be different because I’m like a romance ninja. *kicks the air*
Tim: You won’t see me coming, and then bam! Romance! Watch out! *grabs her by the waist*
Tim: Hearts, kisses, love! Ewww waaaaah! *gently pins her to the floor and kisses her cheek*
When you realize that little Robin’s not so little anymore…
Damian: I was going to spend the night with my special little lady –
Dick: *falls off the chandelier he was dangling from*
Jason: *chokes on the cigarette he was about to light up*
Tim: *wakes up*
Alfred: *accidentally pours tea on Tim*
Bruce: *freezes up*
Damian: – but she’s got worms and I had to take her to the vet.
Bruce, Alfred, Dick, Jason, and Tim: *collective sigh of relief*
Mornings at the Manor…
Dick: *ranting about how his Nightwing suit’s starting to tighten around his hips and thighs*
Jason: I think your morning Cocoa Puffs are turning you into a hysterical woman.
How to really hurt your little brother (or fight dirty)…
Damian: *storming out*
Jason: Damian, wait!
Jason: Dobby the Elf dies in book seven.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Jason, *gasp*!
Topics to avoid when you’re having a drink with your best friend…
Bruce [to Clark]: Feelings? What am I, a hippie at a love-in?
Why Robin went on patrol with a wedgie…
Damian [to Steph]: Thanks to you, I know better than to ask if you’re menstruating. And, based on your behavior, I don’t have to.
Married Red Robin be like…
Tam: Is having a real-life wife who has sex with you getting in the way of your board games?
Dick:
Jason:
Cass:
Damian:
Conner:
Tim: A little bit, yeah.
How she wins him over later that night…
Tam: *wearing a Robin domino mask* Molecules.
Tim: *grabs her by the hand* Okay, come with me.
Tam: Where are we going?
Tim: To our bedroom.
Tim: So I can take everything off but that mask.
Tim: And maybe those green spandex shorts.
Steph: Damn. You have more make-up than I do. You’ve got better make-up than I do. Yep, I’m borrowing this.
Tim: *pushes her grabby hands away* Hey, hey, hey. This is my patrol make-up. I love you, but there are some things a man doesn’t share with his girlfriend.
Married Red Robin be like…
Tam: Is having a real-life wife who has sex with you getting in the way of your board games?
Dick:
Jason:
Cass:
Damian:
Conner:
Tim: A little bit, yeah.
Fighting for territory in the Batcave be like…
Red Robin: Meanwhile, you still don’t have a vehicle! *gestures to the Redbird*
Robin: Don’t try to change the subject, Drake! This is about a parking space! It has nothing to do with vehicles!
Batman: *groans*
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