When your youngest brother wants to show you his appreciation…
Dick: You’re giving us… stickers?
Damian: Not just any sticker. Those are stickers of a kitty saying, “Me-wow!”.
Tim: We’re not preschoolers.
Damian: Fine, I’ll take them all back.
Jason: I earned this! Back off!
Damian: Drake’s upset with me, and I’m not clear as to why.
Jason: Okay, were you talking before you he got upset?
Damian: Yes.
Jason: That’s probably it.
Superboy: Damian, I can’t believe you got me a birthday gift!
Robin: I don’t know why you’re so surprised. I watch movies. I see what people do.
Dick: …
Tim: *two black eyes and a broken arm*
Damian: *three missing teeth*
Dick: *sighs and gestures to two chairs in front of him*
Dick: Why don’t you tell me what happened, and in a gentle and loving way, I’ll explain to you why you’re both wrong.
Tim: *in shock* And when I dropped Damian off at the Academy, he even gave me a hug.
Jason: Did he think you were choking, or… ?
Mornings at the Manor…
Tim: *covering a bruised eye*
Dick: *hugging him consolingly*
Jason: *heading to the refrigerator to grab an ice pack while trying to suppress his laughter*
Bruce and Alfred: *glaring disappointedly*
Damian: *guarding a platter of tofu* It’s not my fault I’m bad at sharing! I skipped kindergarten!
When your eldest brother asks you to look after his Blüdhaven apartment while he’s away on a mission…
Red Robin: Oh, come on, Dick’s a grown man. He can take care of himself.
Red Hood: *opens the refrigerator to reveal a bottle of curdy milk, a half-eaten sandwich, and a bowl of soggy Cheerios*
Red Hood: *looking unimpressed* You really believe that?
Who needs TV when you’ve got family?
Dick: *brings in freshly popped popcorn from the kitchen*
Jason: *plumps up two beanbags on the floor*
Dick: *sinks into a beanbag* I love watching Tim and Damian try to work together.
Jason: *munching on popcorn* Yeah, it’s like if Alien and Predator decided to go partners in a Jamba Juice.
Taking your circus-raised son to a gala be like…
Dick: *grabs three empty champagne flutes from a table*
Dick: Have you ever tried to juggle?
Bruce: Yes. I’m juggling my love for you and my embarrassment of you right now.
When you learn that your brother has a self-esteem issue (i.e., a little too much of it)…
Dick: Okay, let’s try this. Think of yourself as one of those limited edition toys people like to collect.
Damian: I already do.
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