Dick: Look, I’ve been screwed by Darwinism. Never needed to evolve listening skills ‘cause my looks are so highly developed.
Tim: Um, that’s not how evolution works.
Dick: Yeah, sure it is! Look, say I had to catch my own food, right? But I only ate really fast animals? My feet would eventually evolve into rockets.
Damian: Grayson, it’s amazing your brain doesn’t evolve into pudding.
Gossiping about Clark and Conner’s “situation”…
Diana: I really doubt that he’s just abandoning Conner… I mean, he’s his father!
Bruce: Diana, his exact words were, “I know I’m your father, but I’m abandoning you.”
Jason: C’mon, Tim, we never ask you for anything!
Tim: You guys ask me for everything.
Jason: So, what’s one more thing?
Zoanne: You’re coming over to my house tonight. And we’re gonna… “study”.
Tim: Come on! I never get to do anything fun.
Zoanne: Wow, you’re dumb.
Tim: Well, I guess that’s why I gotta go “study”!
Tim trying to comfort Conner about his situation with Superman…
Tim: All families are embarrassing. If they aren’t embarrassing, they’re dead.
Jason: Bad things keep happening to me, like I have bad luck or something.
Damian: Todd, you don’t have bad luck. The reason bad things happen to you is because you’re a dumb ass.
Jason: *badly hungover* My head hurts.
Damian: That’s your brain trying to comprehend its own stupidity.
Bart: *puts on Robin’s pants* Well, the joke’s on you, Robin! I’m wearing your pants, and I’m not wearing any underwear.
Tim: Impulse, the last time I wore those pants, I wasn’t wearing any underwear.
Bart: *hastily pulls off pants* Well played.
*Bruce: *to himself* I love being Gotham’s protector.
Dick: I love you too, Bruce.
Bruce: Stop being weird.
Connor: You don’t like me because I’m not from here.
Bruce: This has nothing to do with you being an hybrid alien. This is about you taking advantage of my son like a sneaky hybrid alien!
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