At Midnighter’s safe house after a successful mission…
Batwing: So, Lucas, can we have a keg party here?
Midnighter: Yeah, sure. I’m cool with it. That’s me, “cool dad”.
Agent 37: Yeah. Lucas’s the coolest. *high-fives Midnighter*
Red Hood: Yeah, Lucas. *high-fives Midnighter*
Red Hood: Would you be my dad?
* Both laugh *
Red Hood: No, really.
* Both laugh *
Red Hood: No, I’m serious.
Tim: Bruce, I’m going to the prom.
Bruce: They’re all going to laugh at you.
Tim: Gee, Bruce, you’re making the moment too damn special.
Dick: Did you tell anybody we’re engaged?
Barbara: Yes, Dick, I have no self control and I told the pretzel vendor we’re engaged.
Dick: Okay, no need to be sarcastic.
Barbara: No, seriously, I have no self control and I told the pretzel vendor we’re engaged.
Red Hood: Hiro, you sell Zip Kicks?
Toymaster: Yeah, man. I sell Zip Kicks and… other stuff.
Arsenal: Ohhh… We’ll take two Zip Kicks, and a misdemeanor’s worth of the other stuff.
Bruce: Why is our house always infested with kids?
Alfred: *rolls eyes*
Steph: I want Tim to give me that stupid promise ring!
Dick: Look, Steph, Tim is very sensitive.
Jason: Girlish, even.
Dick: So, he just wants to wait for the right time to give it to you.
Steph: You know what, Dick? You’re right. I’ll give him time.
* Tim enters the room *
Steph: WHERE’S MY RING, YOU IDIOT?
What Jason would have said had he found out Tim was about to sacrifice himself to the drones…
Jason [on the Comm Link]: Timmers, I’m saying this to you as a brother who likes to see you get hurt: Don’t do it.
When Jason babysits Damian…
Jason: Good night, sleep tight, and don’t let the bedbugs put their foot in your ass.
Bruce has a dream where he dies and nobody shows up at his funeral…
Dream Bruce: Where is everybody? Where are all my friends?
Dream Selina: You don’t have any friends, honey. I’m afraid it’s a side effect of… telling people to stick it in their butts.
Shopping…
Bruce: This is going to be expensive, isn’t it?
Selina: Maybe.
Bruce: Don’t you like anything cheap?
Selina: I like you.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 