“Bedtime Stories” by Jason Peter Todd…
Jason [sitting on Damian’s bed]: … The worst was the smell. The pain, well… What can you say about your skin congealing? But the smell was so… You know, for a second, I thought someone left a pot roast burning in the oven? But it was just my flesh. And then, finally, I was alive again.
Sweet dreams, Dami.
When you’re painfully aware that your best friend is only human…
Superman: *hovering* Why you?
Batman: *perched on a gargoyle, looking through a telescopic sight* Why me what?
Superman: Why do you have to hunt all these dangerous criminals in Gotham? Why not let someone else do it?
Batman: I can’t find anybody else that crazy.
When The Flash messes with the timeline yet again…
Future Jason: Okay. If you’re me… then tell me something only I would know.
Jason: Dick Grayson. We were, uh… 15. He made us try on his Nightwing suit from the 80′s. It was gold and blue. And satiny. And you know what? We kind of liked it.
Future Jason: Touché.
Batman: *studying Kryptonian morphology* Hn. It’s no wonder none of the tests worked. You’re not shapeshifters. You’re aliens.
Superman: You know, I find that term racist.
Why it’s pointless to mother-hen Red Hood…
Jason [to the rest of the Batfamily]: Look, uh, I appreciate your enthusiasm. Really, I do. It’s always nice to hear from family. But for your own good, I strongly suggest you get a life.
Dropping your little brother off on his first day at Gotham Academy be like…
Maps [about Damian]: That’s your brother standing on top of that gargoyle? He’s so cool!
Tim: Yeah. He thinks so.
Investigating a crime scene…
Red Robin: It’s probably a dumbwaiter. All these old houses had them.
Red Hood: Know-it-all.
Red Robin: What?
Red Hood: What?
Red Robin: You said…
Red Hood: What?
Red Robin: Never mind.
Going on patrol with your brother be like…
Nightwing: It frustrates me when you say such reckless things!
Red Hood: Well, it frustrates me when you’d rather hide than fight!
Damian: You know, I finally get why you and Father butted heads so much. You two are practically the same person. I mean, I worshipped the man, you know? I dressed like him, I acted like him, I listened to the same music. But you are more like him than I will ever be. I see that now.
Dick: I’ll take that as a compliment.
Damian: You can take it any way you want.
Having a telepathic girlfriend be like…
M’gann: We need to talk.
Conner: I’m dreaming, aren’t I?
M’gann: It’s not safe here.. Someplace more private.
Conner: More private? We’re inside my head.
M’gann: Exactly. Someone could be listening.
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