Red Hood: My best friend is an idiot.
Arsenal: Who’s your best friend?
Red Hood: You are.
Arsenal: I know. I just wanted to hear it.
Tag: source: scrubs
Damian: Drake, is there anyway you can change your entire personality?
Tim: *deadpan* I can try.
Damian: Even the way you said that annoyed me.
Red Hood: Okay, let me hack into Black Mask’s files.
Red Robin: *blinks* You can hack?
Red Hood: Nah, I have a password. It just sounded cooler.
Red Hood: *slams the Manor door shut*
Arsenal: So, you finally stood up to your father?
Red Hood: *sighs* Yep.
Arsenal: And he cut you off? No money, no nothing?
Red Hood: *lights a cigarette and takes a drag* Pretty much.
Arsenal: Jerk.
Family Patrol Night…
Nightwing: *doing some stretches* You seem kinda stressed out.
Red Robin: *setting up surveillance equipment* Well, I haven’t pooped in six days –
Red Hood: *reloading his revolvers* Twice this evening, and I haven’t even had a smoke yet.
Robin: *polishing his sword* You really pick odd things to brag about, Todd.
Red Hood: I’m just saying, if I had to get to three by breakfast, I probably could.
Family Patrol Night…
Red Hood: Why didn’t you stop me?
Red Robin: What?
Red Hood: Why did you let me harass that guy? *gestures to a bound and gagged criminal out of earshot*
Red Robin: So, you think the fact that you got annoyed and became incredibly insensitive with another human being is my fault?
Red Hood: Yeah! Lookit, whenever I’m about to do some stupid-ass stuff, you’re the one who calls me on it, and you’re then damn-sure the one who makes me stop.
Superman: *knocking on the Batcave wall* Excuse me, Bruce, do you have a second?
Batman: Clark, what did I tell you about my open-door policy? I don’t have one.
When all you want is to have all your grandchildren present for dinner at the Manor (just this once!)…
Alfred: You are not going anywhere, Master Jason.
Red Hood: *getting on his motorcycle* Would it make a difference if I told you that I had a personal issue that makes staying here really horrible for me?
Alfred: It would make me quite a bit happier.
Jason [to Roy]: Do you really think I care about what my brothers think? Tim camped out in a wizard outfit to see the latest “Harry Potter” movie.
Tim: You swore you wouldn’t tell! We even high-fived on it, Jay!
Jason: Timbo, we high-five on everything.
Tim: That’s such a lame excuse. I’m totally pissed at you. High-five!
Batman: *holding Damian by the scruff of the neck*
Robin: *growling and attempting to free himself*
Batman: This is, uh… *clears his throat* This is my son.
Wonder Woman: Your offspring is adorable! May I keep him?
Nightwing: *panting after having sprinted from across the hall* NO! No, you – you certainly may n-not!
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