When you’re frustrated with your seemingly unfeeling adoptive father…
Red Hood: *internally pulling his teeth out* Alfred gave you some tools to be a quasi-human, Bruce! You just have to use them!
Batman:
Red Hood: *externally screams*
Tag: source: scorpion
“Injustice 2: A Summary”…
Superman: May the best man win.
Batman: I plan to.
Why no one likes playing chess with Bruce Wayne…
Supercomputer: *makes a move*
Batman: Now I’m stumped.
Supercomputer: 😏
Batman: There are three ways that I can beat you, but I don’t know which one to use.
Supercomputer: 😳
Batman: You know what? I’ll use the pawn. They never get to be the hero.
Supercomputer: 😤
Batman: *trips over the Lasso of Truth*
Batman: I suppose I like hanging around you guys. I don’t know why.
Superman: Thank you?
Wonder Woman: I’m not sure that was a compliment.
Selina: *creeping behind a sculpture inside the Wayne Manor, eavesdropping*
Bruce: Now, Dick, what a woman wants, really wants, is for you to listen, truly hear what is troubling her –
Selina: Not half-bad advice –
Bruce: And then you can quickly solve that problem for her and move on to something more interesting –
Selina: *rolls her eyes* Back to normal.
Security alarm at the Titans Tower: INTRUDER ALERT! INTRUDER ALERT!
Impulse: *runs out of the conference room*
Impulse: *runs back into the conference room half a second later*
Impulse: *panting* I saw a freaky, terrifying man!
Robin: *not looking up from what he’s reading* That’s just Batman.
Nightwing: Are you ready to take one for the family?
Red Hood: I’ve already made myself absolutely clear that I’m not a part of this family.
Red Hood: … But fine.
Dick: Hey, Jay, a penny for your thoughts?
Jason: How about a dime to leave me alone?
Batman: I just have to calm down and figure this out.
Superman: …
Superman: On your own? While you’re bleeding to death?
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
He’s a big boy, Clark.
In the Batplane…
Batman:
The Flash:
Batman:
The Flash: *shuddering*
Batman: You okay?
The Flash: *still trying to get over seeing Red Robin and Robin in action only a few moments back*
The Flash: You convinced two healthy kids to jump out of a plane. Is that even legal?
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