Tag: source: red vs. blue

Nightwing: You know, I really think we should try a non-violent approach to resolve this.

Red Hood: I agree, except replace the word “non” with “extremely”, and after the word “violent”, include the phrase "blood explosion extraordinaire"!

Aqualad: Look, instead of just running straight into enemy gunfire like we usually do, why don’t we try some reconnaissance this time?

Kid Flash: You mean like spy stuff? That would be cool! I could wear a spy tuxedo –

Robin: *facepalms* No.

Kid Flash: With a hidden spy camera –

Speedy: Dude.

Kid Flash: Inside a tiny spy bowtie –

Miss Martian: Wally…

Kid Flash: Or, I could wear a flower on my lapel –

Superboy: We said no.

Kid Flash: That sprays water in people’s faces, oh man –

Artemis: Shut up, West.

Trying to get your brother to make healthier choices be like…

Nightwing: *laying the blueprint for a warehouse across the street on the rooftop deck*

Red Robin: *setting up surveillance equipment*

Robin: *adjusting Goliath’s leash*

Red Hood: *coughs*

Red Robin: Wait a second, are you smoking inside of your helment again?

Red Hood: What? No.

Red Hood: *tries to stifle another cough as smoke comes out of the vents in his helmet* Oops.

Nightwing: *locating Alfred on his communicator* I knew this would happen. And how many snack cakes have you had today?

Red Hood: None.

Nightwing, Red Robin and Robin: *glare at him*

Red Hood: Okay, five… or more. Baker’s dozen at most.

Robin: Do you even know how many there are in a baker’s dozen, Todd?

Red Hood: By my count? Forty-eight.

Dick: *leaning over the sofa in the Wayne Manor library* Wow, Little Wing, you were asleep for a long time. What were you dreaming about?

Jason: *yawning and stretching, swiftly catching the novel that falls from his chest as he gets up* Nothing. I don’t like to dream. I try not to think while I’m sleeping.

Damian: *not looking up from the novel he’s reading at the other side of the room* That’s pretty much how you function while you’re awake, too.

Post-mission debriefing…

Batman: *listening*

Nightwing: At first, it didn’t seem physically possible.

Red Robin: But modern-day technology makes anything possible. It was as easy as Shake-‘N-Bake!

Red Hood: *wiggles eyebrows* And I helped.

Robin: Actually, Todd, I don’t really know if snickering in the corner all night like a prepubescent monkey actually qualifies as help, but it sure was entertaining.

Sending your brothers off to a mission when you’re stuck doing monitor duty at the Batcave be like…

Red Hood: Good luck, everyone. I packed you all lunches for the trip.

Nightwing: Thanks, Jay. That was really nice of you.

Red Robin: Not really. All my bag had was an air filter and a thermos full of brake fluid.

Robin: *peeks into his own lunch bag* Tt.

Red Hood: Don’t forget to wash your exhaust pipe every day!

Jason: Timbo, when you think you’re dreaming, you don’t punch somebody else. You get somebody else to punch you.

Tim: Dude, it doesn’t matter what kind of dream I’m having, I am not going to ask you to punch me.

Paintball war at the Manor…

Dick: *whispering* Why did the Resurrected Robins stop firing?

Tim: *listening to every sound* I don’t know… They’re probably out of ammo.

Jason: *yelling from a makeshift fort in Damian’s room* Hey, Fake-Dead Robins, we are giving you a chance to surrender!

Dick: *aims his paintball marker at the draped Batman bedsheet* Yeah, they’re definitely out of ammo.

Tim: Dick, we have a problem.

Dick: Guys, I am not your mother, so don’t come tattling to me every time one of you does something that the other one doesn’t like.

Tim: I’m telling you, he’s crazy. He keeps threatening me and talking in a scary voice.

Damian: No I didn’t.

Tim: Oh, so you’re saying you didn’t threaten to cut my hair off and give it to Ra’s as a birthday present?

Damian: You know, Drake, I think you’re taking my words a little out of context.

Tim: What?! What context?!