When Poison Ivy leaves for vacation and entrusts her “babies” to you…
Ivy: Make sure you water my kids thrice daily. But do not talk to them, or they will not stop, especially Jinx.
Harley: Jinx is the ficus?
Ivy: Exactly.
Tag: source: psych
When you cross paths with your big brother at his day job…
Officer Grayson [to witness]: I was gonna ask you the same question…
Red Robin: *whispering* Dick, this woman witnessed a crime…
Officer Grayson: Yeah, a crime in progress. She’s stealing my heart, but I ain’t pressing charges. *winks*
Red Robin: *facepalms*
At a firing range…
Jason [to himself]: I’m so good it’s stupid. I’m stupid good.
Batman trying to date be like…
Hal: Wow, you’re like a robot.
Bruce: That’s the comment someone made on my eHarmony profile, so I guess it must be true.
Hanging out at the beach be like…
Conner [to Tim]: You don’t have enough game for half of ONE of those ladies.
Commissioner Gordon [about the rest of the GCPD: I prefer they screw up while not wearing their uniforms.
When your son’s the personification of sunshine…
Dick: Don’t worry, Bruce! We’ll crack this case like an egg. Then we’ll make omelets with shallots… and JUSTICE!
Post-mission debriefing (and you really just want to get some sleep)…
Bruce: Questions?
Dick: Is this your only lead?
Bruce: His responses to my interrogation were hostile at best.
Tim: Clarify “hostile”.
Bruce: *through his teeth* Use my tone now as a guide.
When you’re trying to speak seriously to your family but one of your sons just won’t give you a break…
Bruce: I need to get something off my chest.
Jason: Is it your shirt? Please say no.
Catching corrupt Gotham City police officers in the act…
Red Hood: Good evening, detectives, collecting money for the Policeman’s Ball?
Officer: We don’t have balls!
Red Hood: I honestly have no response to that.
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