Batman: *reads article in Gotham Gazette about Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, and Robin, and around 5 million dollars-worth of property damage*

Batman: Hrrrn.

Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, and Robin:

Batman:

Batman: *sighs*

Batman: *takes out check book*

Batman: I prefer you screw up while not wearing your uniforms. 

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

When you’re bored and trying to stay awake during one of Batman’s “lectures”… 

Red Hood: *points at Batman, whispering* Pew, pew! Pew! 

Red Hood: *blows imaginary smoke off finger guns, then tucks them into imaginary holsters*

Red Hood: I’m so good it’s stupid. I’m stupid good. 

Red Robin: *overhears him from behind*

Red Robin: *with rings around drooping eyelids, drinking his fifteenth cup of coffee for the day* No. Just stupid.

When you’re bored and trying to stay awake during one of Batman’s “lectures”… 

Red Hood: *points at Batman, whispering* Pew, pew! Pew! 

Red Hood: *blows imaginary smoke off finger guns, then tucks them into imaginary holsters*

Red Hood: I’m so good it’s stupid. I’m stupid good. 

Kid Flash [to witness]: I was gonna ask you the same question, Ma’am…

Nightwing: Dude, this woman just witnessed a crime… 

Kid Flash: *grinning* Yeah, a crime in progress. She’s stealing my heart, but I ain’t pressing charges.

Damian: Keep pissing me off and I’m gonna rip your heart out, Drake, and that’s an organ you need! 

Tim: *sips coffee* Actually, that’s a muscle.  

Damian: Whatever! 


You’re technically both right (it’s a muscular organ), but carry on.

Nightwing: *accidentally sits on his own cellphone*

Kid Flash: *reads text message from bestbrobin: “Ey, Wal”*

Kid Flash: *smirks* Creepiest butt-text ever. 


And the mystery that is Richard John Grayson’s gluteal muscles goes on…

Why the Robins steer clear of their tiny, flu-ridden brother…

Damian: *teary-eyed, sniffling, and lying in bed, covered in a blanket from head to toe* 

Damian: *pulls out a katana* Rub my back at a medium, gentle pace, Todd.