When your best friend asks you if you’d want to get away from crimefighting in the city for a while and just hang out at his farm…
Superman: So… ?
Batman: *stares off into the distance*
Superman: Um, Bruce… ?
Batman: *breathes in the air like he’s smelling fresh flowers*
Batman: Spending the day far away sounds like a dream, Clark. I love being a father, but there are a few things I miss. Silence. The absence of noise. One single moment undisturbed by my children trying to kill each other.
Tag: source: parks and recreation
Green Lantern: Well, what gives him the right to lead us?
The Flash: As far as his qualifications go, he’s freakin’ Batman!
Jason: *shakes head* Why are you like this?
Tim: *wearing a cowboy hat and riding on the giant dinosaur’s head in the Batcave* Caffeine, baby!
Jason being Extra be like…
Roy: Jaybird, I got a present for you. *carries a basket full of lotion bottles*
Jason: I don’t like lotion. I like my hands to be cracked and calloused like a railway worker.
Roy: I know. I filled the bottles with fake blood, vinegar, and mud.
Jason: *smiles* Really? Thanks!
Conner [to Bruce]: Your son, he’s my best friend, he’s like a brother to me. But he’s a disaster.
Picking Halloween costumes be like…
Roy: Can we please make you into a princess?
Jason: No.
Roy: I think it would make Lian happy.
Jason: Why does that matt – Shut up.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
That’s why you’re her favowite uncle, Jay.
At the Annual Justice League Halloween Party…
Clark: I’m a prince!
Diana: I’m a mermaid!
Bruce: I’m Batman.
Undercover mission at a Gotham City home for the elderly…
Tim: *whispering* I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to have a weapon in a place full of old people.
Jason: *whispering back* Literally everything is a weapon, Tim. These dentures in my hand are far deadlier than that staff on your back.
When you teach your sons how to be financially responsible and ask them to present an account of their expenses…
Dick, Jason, Tim, and Damian *hand over haphazardly stacked pieces of paper*
Bruce: Hn.
Bruce: Most of these aren’t even receipts. This one says, “I bought a Robmobile, 2010″.
Red Robin: *crouching behind the giant coin in the Batcave*
Nightwing: *walks in*
Red Robin: *to his walkie-talkie* The Hug Machine is here. I repeat, the Hug Machine is here. Smiling on all cylinders.
The rest of the Batfamily: *temporarily stop brooding to find hiding places*
~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Dick tends to get in the way of angst and sadness.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 