Batman: *enters the room*
Green Lantern (Jessica): … Did you just pee your space-pants?
Green Lantern (Simon): Just a dab.
Tag: source: parks and recreation
When Alfred’s away on vacation and you’ve got to do the grocery shopping yourself…
Bruce [to clerk]: I would like twelve eggs…
Bruce: *tries to read Dick’s smudged handwriting on his palm* … and part of a dead animal. Dealer’s choice. Please and thank you.
Green Lantern: I feel like you’re embarrassed by me.
Batman: That is accurate.
When you teach your sons how to be financially responsible and ask them to present an account of their expenses…
Dick, Jason, Tim, and Damian *hand over haphazardly stacked pieces of paper*
Bruce: Hn.
Bruce: Most of these aren’t even receipts. This one says, “I bought a Robmobile, 2010″.
When you test your new flamethrower on your best friend while he’s in the shower…
Roy: Jaybird? You mad at me? Because without your eyebrows, I can’t really tell.
Jason: 😐
When asked how he spent time with his brothers yesterday…
Jason: The dentist pulled my tooth out. It’s always a good idea to demonstrate to the guys that you are capable of withstanding a tremendous amount of pain.
Jason: Plus, it’s always fun to see Tim faint.
Tim: Jason, can you please be quiet? I can’t hear myself not talking to Damian.
Looking at Gotham City crime rate statistics on the Batcomputer…
Jason: Man, a thirty-five percent increase!
Tim: It’s actually thirty-four point two percent.
Jason: Thirty-four point two percent.
Jason: *in a robotic voice, doing a robotic walk* I am Timothy, the Numbers Robot.
When Conner tells Tim that he’s considering moving to space to get in touch with his Kryptonian roots…
Conner: Okay, we need to talk.
Tim: I’m sorry, Clone Boy, I can’t understand you. You’ve developed some accent from that new planet you might move to!
At the Annual Justice League Sports Meet…
Green Lantern: *reading the mechanics* Number one is being able to run two miles in under five minutes. That’s a typo, right? That’s not humanly possible.
The Flash: *looks at the camera like he’s on “The Office”*
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Your best buddy’s right there, Hal.
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