Tag: source: parks and recreation

When Batgrandpa gets fed up (because you’re wrecking all the furniture in the Manor)…

Alfred: All of you be. Quiet.

Alfred: Master Timothy, Miss Stephanie’s mad because you said “awesome sauce” instead of “I love you, too”.

Alfred: Miss Stephanie, he loves you. Stop being a child.

Alfred: Master Richard, you’re clearly at fault here. Blaming Master Jason won’t save you.

Alfred: And, Master Jason, we both know you were hanging out with Bizarro instead of watching over Master Damian like you promised.

Alfred: So. *looks around at his stunned grandchildren, who are bruised and battered from trying to “resolve” things earlier*

Alfred: Everyone apologize to everyone else. Now.

What would this family do without him?

When refugee superheroes need a place to stay and Batman (under Alfred’s insistence, naturally) reluctantly invites them over to the Manor…

Green Lantern: *looks around to find practically every bedroom or remotely sleepable surface occupied*

Green Lantern: I’m just gonna sleep on the floor.

Batman: It’s called the “ground” when it’s outside.

Don’t be mean, Bats.

Also, don’t you make these green things called constructs, Hal?

When asked how he spent time with his brothers yesterday…

Jason: The dentist pulled my tooth out. It’s always a good idea to demonstrate to the guys that you are capable of withstanding a tremendous amount of pain.

Jason: Plus, it’s always fun to see Tim faint.

Bruce: Alfred refuses to tell anyone when his birthday is. He’s even had it redacted on all government documents.

Because he can.

Also, I couldn’t help but remember some of my favorite Bruce and Alfred moments in “Injustice: Gods Among Us” comics with this one. *smiles fondly at memory*

When you and your brothers choose to ditch patrol and have an impromptu picnic instead…

Red Robin: Uh, guys? We don’t have the ingredients for S’mores. 

Red Hood: We do.

Nightwing, Red Robin, and Robin: *stare at him*

Red Hood: What? I always have emergency S’more rations in my motorcycle. 

He’s got a lighter in case you want an impromptu bonfire, too.

When you teach your sons how to be financially responsible and ask them to present an account of their expenses…

Dick, Jason, Tim, and Damian *hand over haphazardly stacked pieces of paper*

Bruce: Hn.

Bruce: Most of these aren’t even receipts. This one says, “I bought a Robmobile, 2010″.