Mornings at the Manor…
Jason: *following Tim around the kitchen* Lotus Bear Relax! I can smell it on you right now!
Tim: *slapping his hand away* Stop smelling my hair, dude!
Jason: Do you know how much that stuff cost?
Tim: I didn’t use your conditioner, Jay!
Jason: Then why does your hair look so baby soft?!
Alfred: *sighs*
Alfred: *adds “conditioner” to grocery list*
Picking your little brother up from a kid’s birthday party (also known as the family’s attempt to teach him how to socialize) be like…
Dick: *watches as a 5-foot-8-inch 14-year-old runs away*
Damian: I messed up, Grayson. He ran away, he got scared.
Dick: Why would he get scared?
Damian: Because I threatened him with a sword. I lightly threatened him with a sword.
Superman: *whispering to Wonder Woman* If I had a dollar for every person I couldn’t hang out with because they didn’t like Batman, I’d be rich. Like fill-my-tractor-tank-up-all-the-way rich.
Meanwhile….
Batman: *turning off his earpiece* Hn.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
He may not have super hearing, but your best friend’s got super surveillance equipment, Clark.
When your brothers ask you what Batman’s mission-send-off hug was like…
Red Hood: *dazed* It was firm but tender…
Nightwing: *smirking*
Red Hood: I saw through space and time for a moment…
Red Robin and Robin: *giggling and elbowing each other*
Red Hood: But that’s not the point!!!
Nightwing, Red Robin and Robin: full-on belly laughter*
You know you miss those hugs, Li’l Wing.
The day Damian wayne giggles is the day dc dies
He’s already called Jon his “friend” in canon. Maybe this won’t be too far-fetched. Haha.
When your brothers ask you what Batman’s mission-send-off hug was like…
Red Hood: *dazed* It was firm but tender…
Nightwing: *smirking*
Red Hood: I saw through space and time for a moment…
Red Robin and Robin: *giggling and elbowing each other*
Red Hood: But that’s not the point!!!
Nightwing, Red Robin and Robin: full-on belly laughter*
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
You know you miss those hugs, Li’l Wing.
Robin: *yelling from two rooftops away* I know where you live!
Red Robin: *yelling back* And I live where you live!
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
This is not how you threaten each other, boys, but carry on…
When your eldest brother drops by after work…
BPD Officer Grayson: Hey, mister, can I read you your rights? You have the right to remain hugged.
Damian: *trying to wriggle free* -Tt-
Interventions at the Manor…
Alfred: *wearing a mask and carrying a vacuum cleaner*
Dick: *putting on gloves*
Jason: *filling a black garbage bag with piles of… What are these, Timbo?*
Damian: *pinching his nose and looking around in pure disgust*
Tim: I want to get rid of my stuff, but all my stuff is really good and I just can’t get rid of it.
Dick: It’s not and you have to.
Jason: Everything you own is trash.
Damian: You’re basically a hoarder, Drake.
Tim: *chugs a mug of coffee and stains his three-day-old shirt further*
Tim: Not true. Everything has meaning. Everything is connected to something else.
Preparing for a Wayne Foundation gala…
Dick: *winking, grinning, and making kissy faces at the mirror* Would you consider us adorable?
Jason: *straightening his bowtie and running his hand through his hair* No. We’re adult men. We’re cute.
Superman: I just want to say that I’m honored you’re trusting me.
Batman: Oh, I’m not.
Did you mistake Bruce allowing you to know his secret identity, counting on you to save his life over and over, and leaving his three sons under your care during his battle with Bane for trust? Oh, Clark. You should know better.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 