Shopping for his and Jason’s safe house during their Red/Hood Arsenal days…
Roy: $550 for the TV?! Seems a little steep.
Roy: I’m gonna write down a figure, and this is as high as I’ll go.
Roy: *slides over the slip of paper*
Pawn Shop Guy:
Pawn Shop Guy: You drew a smiley face.
Tag: source: new girl
Texting about an upcoming Justice League meeting…
Bruce: No sig oths.
Clark: Just say “significant others”.
Bruce: Maybe you have that kind of time, but I’m on a tight sched.
Kori: Have either of you ever made a decision in your lives?
Roy: Of course we make decisions! How do you think I’m wearing clothes right now?
Jason: I lay those out for you, Roy.
When your super best friend could give Saran wrap a lesson…
Batman: *ignores vibrations coming from his pocket*
Wonder Woman: How many times a day does Clark text you?
Batman: Hrrrn.
Batman: Just… 40.
When asked what it was like being a teenaged vigilante…
Red Robin: Is there a word that means both complete self-satisfaction and complete self-loathing?
Nightwing: *fidgeting with his suit, stretching the fabric in, um, certain places*
Red Hood: Just suck in your gut.
Nightwing: What gut?
Red Hood: The little pouch where you keep Alfred’s cookies.
Nightwing:
Red Hood:
Nightwing: *pouts and backflips away*
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Not cool, Li’l Wing. Not cool.
Mornings at the Manor…
Tim: I’m losing my mind, guys. I sometimes touch the frayed part of the power cord just to feel something.
Alfred: *swiftly takes a step to the side to hide a frayed wire jutting from the kitchen wall*
Jason: *carefully pries the mug of espresso off Tim’s pale, trembling fingers*
Damian: *stealthily moves the butter knife away from Tim’s grasp*
Dick: *grabs Tim’s face and buries it on his chest in a tight hug*
Bruce: *closes the Gotham Gazette, stands up, then fireman-carries his heavily sleep-deprived son up to his room*
When your eldest brother drops by after work…
BPD Officer Grayson: Hey, mister, can I read you your rights? You have the right to remain hugged.
Damian: *trying to wriggle free* -Tt-
Dick: *won’t stop making puns during family dinner*
Jason: *puts his utensils down, wipes his mouth with a napkin, sighs, and looks his older brother in the eye*
Jason: Everything you just said makes me want to give you a wedgie in front of the others.
Preparing for a Wayne Foundation gala…
Dick: *winking, grinning, and making kissy faces at the mirror* Would you consider us adorable?
Jason: *straightening his bowtie and running his hand through his hair* No. We’re adult men. We’re cute.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 