When you’re secretly feeling insecure because your kids seem to prefer being with their Kryptonian uncle over you…
Batman: *all up in Superman’s space* Because I’m a cool dad, Clark.
Batman: That’s my thang. I’m hip, I surf the web, I text. LOL: laugh out loud. OMG: oh my Grodd. WTF: why the face.
Tag: source: modern family
Batman: *looking around the Batcave for any sign of Nightwing*
Alfred: Master Dick’s having his hair blown out.
Batman: That’s a thing? That I pay for?
Nightwing: Hey, Poppa Bear, you okay?
Batman: Not with “Poppa Bear”, I’m not.
Batman: I have eight kids. I’ve been tired since 1940.
Happy birthday, Brucie.
Superman: Look, we’re not here to play Good Cop/Batman.
Batman: Hrrn. *cracks knuckles*
Criminal: *gulps*
When your little brother obsessively washes his mouth out after accidentally using your toothbrush…
Jason: You’re worried about germs? I’ve seen you kiss your cow on the mouth.
Bruce: Jason, I can forgive the smoking, but I can’t forgive the lie.
Alfred: *glares at Bruce*
Bruce: Or the smoking.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Alfred raised you both right.
Planning a surprise birthday party for your youngest (kiddie-party-deprived) brother be like…
Dick: Um, Jason’s not much of a clown fan…
Duke: Has he ever seen a good one?
Jason: *from three rooms away* HAS ANYONE???
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Duke, sweetie, it’s a, um… *clears throat* sensitive topic.
A “cook-in” at your best friend’s apartment be like…
Wally: I got the steak from the freezer. *slams a package onto the kitchen counter*
Dick: Why do you have chocolate on your face?
Wally: It was under a chocolate pie.
Dick: So you ate your way through it?
Wally: I made a judgment call. You weren’t there.
Seeing your adoptive father again after “choosing to follow a different path in life” be like…
Batman: Why so long?
Nightwing: I know! It’s weird! It’s been such a long time since we last talked –
Batman: I meant your hair.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
We asked him the same thing.
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