Giving your son his first shave be like…
Bruce: It’s shaving time. Shavy gravy. Shaved by the Bell.
Jason: Why are you talking like Dick?
Is it not helping improve the father-son chemistry? No? Oh, okay.
Tag: source: modern family
3 AM at the Manor…
Jason: *leaning on Tim for support*
Jason: *giggling and whispering* Timbo, take me to Alfred and move slow…
Jason: … I’m still drunk… ing my coffee, Bruce!
Bruce: Hn.
Guess who’s grounded?
When you just can’t win an argument with Batman…
Nightwing: Aaarrrggggh. In “Legally Blonde”, Elle won her case because she was true to herself and dressed cutely!
Red Hood: Dick, this is real life, not an excellent movie.
Red Robin [on the Comm Link]: Jay, I need you for this. You’re sneakier than I am, you’re a bigger liar, and you have no moral compass.
Red Hood: Look, thanks for all the compliments, but breaking into one stupid high security facility? That’s not even a challenge.
Dick: For bat’s sake, Damian. Change out of those wingtips. You’re a kid, not President Nixon on the beach!
Why Jon’s no longer allowed to hang out at the Manor…
Jason: You don’t make a shiv out of a knife.
Tim: Yeah. You make a shiv out of a rusty spoon or a shard of glass.
Jason: Or a human femur.
Tim: Exactly. Be creative.
Jon: 0_0
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
And Damian’s like, “You two idiots did this on purpose!”.
Meeting your brother for the first time be like…
Tim: Hey, I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Tim. *offers to shake hands*
Damian: And I’m disgusted.
Isn’t this how it happened?
Damian: Father tried to fix all of our problems, but instead ruined all of our lives!
Jason: *shakes his head* Nightmare.
Dick: You guys are so dramatic. Do I need to call you a wambulance?
Things you don’t say to your adoptive father when he’s lecturing you on your “unacceptable behavior”…
Red Hood: What converts this conversation into over?
Batman: Jason, what have I told you about staying out past your curfew?
Robin: *shuts the textbook he’s reading*
Robin: *sighs* That I need to do it more often.
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