Robin: My father’s not afraid of anything! He doesn’t wear a seat belt when he drives! He killed a Predator once!
Green Lantern: Oh, yeah? Was the Predator in the passenger seat?
Though, technically, the Predator committed suicide out of humiliation from being defeated by Batman… Also, I’m not sure about comic book Batman, but LEGO Batman sure doesn’t like wearing one.
Don Allen: One time my dad was struck by lightning. That’s why he can drink as much as he wants.
—
Literally and literally.
Seeing your adoptive father again after “choosing to follow a different path in life” be like…
Batman: Why so long?
Nightwing: I know! It’s weird! It’s been such a long time since we last talked –
Batman: I meant your hair.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
We asked him the same thing.
When asked what his motto in life was…
Red Hood: Batman likes to say “You can be part of the problem or part of the solution”. But I happen to believe that you can be both.
A “cook-in” at your best friend’s apartment be like…
Wally: I got the steak from the freezer. *slams a package onto the kitchen counter*
Dick: Why do you have chocolate on your face?
Wally: It was under a chocolate pie.
Dick: So you ate your way through it?
Wally: I made a judgment call. You weren’t there.
Damian: Todd, let it go. I’m faster than you.
Jason: If only there were some way we could settle this once and for all, but how?
Damian: You seriously want to race me? I won the Gotham City Half-Marathon last year!
Jason: Okay, I’m half-scared.
Damian:
Damian: Okay, we do need to do this. I’ll go change.
It’s a trap, Little D.
When you’re all kind of “co-parenting” your youngest brother…
Dick: Damian needs to know that we believe in him. It’s the most important thing. If you tell children they have wings, they will believe they can fly.
Jason: Oh, really? I had a buddy that went to Gothamfest, believed he could fly, didn’t end great. That’s why hotels’ windows don’t open anymore.
And by “buddy”, he meant a drunken Roy.
Jason: Did you know that fencing goes back to the twelfth century?
Damian: Fencing? Pfft. Do you know what’s even nerdier than fencing? Knowing when it began.
Tim: I don’t think you’re a nerd, Jay –
Jason and Damian: Shut up, dork!
Jason [to Dick]: I’m fairly confident that one of Bruce’s proudest moment was when you finally took off the scaly, green leotard.
Planning a surprise birthday party for your youngest (kiddie-party-deprived) brother be like…
Dick: Um, Jason’s not much of a clown fan…
Duke: Has he ever seen a good one?
Jason: *from three rooms away* HAS ANYONE???
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Duke, sweetie, it’s a, um… *clears throat* sensitive topic.
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