Barry: Mm-hmmm. *wiping his mouth* That burger was so good, I feel like I just cheated on you.
Iris: Yeah, I heard the moaning.
Tag: source: modern family
Before going their separate ways after dinner at the Manor…
Red Hood: *strapping a box to his motorcycle*
Red Robin [to Alfred]: Why does Jason get a care package and not me?
Red Hood: *referring to Tim’s state-of-the-art safe house from Wayne Enterprises* You live in a care package.
Preparing for a date…
Dick: *frantically looking through Jason’s closet for dress shoes with hidden heels*
Jason [about Kori]: You realize she’s not that big, right? It’s mostly just hair.
Mar’i [5 years old]: *watches as a group of adults “ooooh” and “awww” over a little girl and a little boy holding hands in a playground* Are you gonna be this cool when I like a boy?
Kori: Well –
Dick: No, not a chance.
When you eavesdrop on a conversation between your super dad and one of his super friends (and instantly regret it)…
Dick, Jason, Tim, and Damian: *hiding behind the dinosaur in the Batcave*
Bruce [on the phone with Clark]: *in a gruff voice* Hal thinks he can “Mean Girls” me?! Hn! How lame is that? Let me tell you something, I might be a pretty face, but I fight to win. Just like “Legally Blonde”!
Dick: *covers his mouth as he starts to giggle, then looks at Jason*
Jason: *sticks his tongue out in disgust, then looks as Tim*
Tim: *slowly shakes his head and mouths “Wrong, just wrong”*
Damian: *crosses his arms and lets out a small -Tt-*
When Red Hood and Red Robin get into an intense argument during patrol and the latter walks out in frustration…
*Cue heavy rainfall*
Red Hood: *scoffs* Don’t hate me for your son leaving.
Batman: You’re both my sons.
At the Watchtower…
Justice League: *watching surveillance, Youtube and news footage on the mainframe computer*
Batman: *walks into the room and sees Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, Robin and Lark (and a bunch of burning buildings and screaming citizens) on the screen*
Superman: *arms crossed*
Wonder Woman: *hands on hips, shaking her head*
Aquaman: *raises an eyebrow*
The Flash: *wide-eyed*
Green Lantern: *biting his lip to suppress a smirk*
Cyborg: Wo-ho-hoooooo.
Batman: Hn.
Batman: Whatever they did, add it to my tab.
Batman: *walks out*
And if you were convinced that Batman went back to work at the Watchtower after walking calmly and collectedly out of that room, then you probably didn’t even consider that he’d run to the teleporters at top speed to get back to Earth and do damage control (a.k.a. give his kids a piece of his mind).
Red Robin: If you can’t beat ‘em, drone ‘em.
–
Too soon?
Batman: *looking around the Batcave for any sign of Nightwing*
Alfred: Master Dick’s having his hair blown out.
Batman: That’s a thing? That I pay for?
Dick and Barbara: *watching Damian jump from one gigantic memento to another in the Batcave*
Barbara: He is kind of adorable.
Dick: I know! Isn’t he? Remember when Jason was like this?
Jason: What the heck do you people say when I’m not here?
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