Tag: source: it’s always sunny in philadelphia

Damian needing to learn more colloquial terms…

Steph: You’ve been really stressed, so I thought I’d take you to a spa day. Just the two of us.

Damian: A what day?

Steph: Spa day.

Damian: What is this word, “spa”? I feel like you’re starting to a say a word and you’re not finishing it. Spaghetti? Are you taking me to a spaghetti day?

When Plastic Man tried out for the JLA…

J’onn: I’m a little confused. Are you telling me this photo of Batman is your resumé?

Patrick: Well, when I showed up this morning, I didn’t have a formal resumé on me, so I was sort of hoping the photograph of Batman could represent the standard of excellence I’m hoping to bring to this position.

Roy telling Jason about his past…

Roy: I browned out that evening.

Jason: “Browned out”? What’s “browned out”?

Roy: It’s when you drink so much that everything goes brown. It’s not as severe as a black out because I remember bits and pieces. I call it browning out.

Walking back to the Batmobile after battling Killer Croc…

Damian [to Tim]: Why don’t you walk in front of me so I don’t get your blood all over my boots?

–

Can’t even try to sound a little concerned, Dami?

Speculating about Batman’s powers while on Watchtower monitor duty..

Kyle: What if he can smell crime?

Wally: … What if he smells crime?

Kyle: Dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude! What if he can smell crime before it even happens?

Wally: Dude, that’s amazing! Smells crime before it even happens! Yes, dude!

Kyle: WHAT IF HIS ENTIRE HEAD IS JUST ONE BIG NOSE? Write that down, I like that.

Batfamily therapy sessions be like…

Black Canary: You know, I do offer group therapy.

Red Robin: Yeah, okay.

Red Hood: *enters room* What is this? What are you doing?

Nightwing: What? What is that?

Black Canary: With all due respect, you’re talking about bringing guns to an intervention and you’re drinking wine out of a soda can.

Red Hood: *slurps* Yeah.

Nightwing: Oh. You put wine in the soda can?

Red Hood: You didn’t know, did you?

Nightwing: *impressed* That is good.

Red Robin: Ahh, you stole Arsenal’s idea.

Red Hood: Yeah, yeah, yeah. It actually is a pretty good idea.

Red Robin: Well, it’s a good idea. I mean the guy has great ideas.

Red Hood: He is a smart man.

Red Hood: That is not what we’re here about.

“Battle for the Cowl” AU be like…

Tim: You know what, Dick? You shouldn’t be making these decisions anyway, okay? You’re not the decision-making type. As the brains of this family, I should have made this decision.

Dick: Hey, whoa, whoa, I’m sorry. Since when did you become the brains?

Tim: Uhh… I’m sorry? I’ve always been the brains.

Dick: What?! What are you talking about? I thought I was the brains. What the heck am I?

Tim: You’re the looks.

Dick: Well, yeah, of course I’m the looks. But I always thought of myself as the brains and the looks.

Tim: No, you’re the looks, I’m the brains, and Jason is the wildcard.

Black Mask: *overheard from inside the warehouse* It smells overwhelmingly like kerosene in here!

Red Hood: Uh-huh! * tosses a lit match into the warehouse and runs*

–

Bruce is gonna have words with you, Jay.