Taking your crush on a tour of the Manor be like…
Tam: *walking slowly around Tim’s bedroom and checking out posters of obscure rock bands on the walls*
Tam: *smirking* You know, you’re weird.
Tim: *trying to sound chill while (almost) soundlessly dumping his disguises into his cabinet, kicking weapons under his bed, and taking down case photos linked with thread and pinned to his headboard, all while Tam’s back is still to him* You have no idea.
Nightwing: *nudging Bruce playfully* You have a bad shoulder, and that’s why you could never have a catch with me, right?
Batman: Hn. Right.
“Battle for the Cowl” AU be like…
Tim: You know what, Dick? You shouldn’t be making these decisions anyway, okay? You’re not the decision-making type. As the brains of this family, I should have made this decision.
Dick: Hey, whoa, whoa, I’m sorry. Since when did you become the brains?
Tim: Uhh… I’m sorry? I’ve always been the brains.
Dick: What?! What are you talking about? I thought I was the brains. What the heck am I?
Tim: You’re the looks.
Dick: Well, yeah, of course I’m the looks. But I always thought of myself as the brains and the looks.
Tim: No, you’re the looks, I’m the brains, and Jason is the wildcard.
Red Hood: *glares at criminal*
Red Hood: I’m going to go oil my chainsaw.
Red Robin: What?
Nightwing: *whispering* Jay, we don’t need the chainsaw. Is that what’s in that bag?
Red Hood: Oh, we do. Because drawing a confession out of someone is like doing a beautiful dance. A beautiful dance with a chainsaw.
Red Robin: He makes less and less sense as the days go by.
Must be all that Lazarus Pit fluid.
Red Hood: *glares at criminal*
Red Hood: I’m going to go oil my chainsaw.
Red Robin: What?
Nightwing: *whispering* Jay, we don’t need the chainsaw. Is that what’s in that bag?
Red Hood: Oh, we do. Because drawing a confession out of someone is like doing a beautiful dance. A beautiful dance with a chainsaw.
Red Robin: He makes less and less sense as the days go by.
Must be all that Lazarus Pit fluid.
Barbara: I don’t know how you guys live with yourselves.
Dick: *grins* One day at a time.
Jason: *scoffs* One day at a time.
Tim: *yawns* One day at a time.
At a Wayne Foundation gala…
Dick: *talking animatedly*
Jason:
Dick: *laughing hysterically at his own joke*
Jason:
Dick: *wiping tears off his eyes*
Jason: Are you wearing make-up?
Dick: I’m always wearing a little bit of foundation, but that’s not the point.
Red Robin: *snoring loudly with half of his body sticking out of the Redbird and saliva running down his jaw*
Nightwing: How many sleeping pills did you give Tim?
Red Hood: I don’t know. Seven? Twelve?
Nightwing: You had a bad shoulder and that’s why you could never play catch with me while I was Robin, right?
Batman: Riiiiiight.
While on patrol…
Red Hood: *stares*
Red Hood: Are you wearing makeup?
Nightwing: I’m always wearing a little bit of foundation, but that’s not the point.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 