Nightwing [on the Comm Link]: *on his motorcycle, tailing them* Did you two just push Tim out of the moving Batmobile and yell, “You’re out of the team”?!
Red Hood: Now, in hindsight, that does seem kind of rash.
Robin: *pulling into a Batburger drive-through* It was kind of a snap decision.
Tag: source: it’s always sunny in philadelphia
Why it sometimes takes forever for Batman’s sons to finish their meals (much to Alfred’s chagrin)…
Robin: *staring at a utensil on the dining table* All of my instincts and my training are telling me to use this like a weapon.
– • – • – • – • –
This is me going out on a limb here and assuming that this family still takes the time to eat.
Taking your crush on a tour of the Manor be like…
Tam: *walking slowly around Tim’s bedroom and checking out posters of obscure rock bands on the walls*
Tam: *smirking* You know, you’re weird.
Tim: *trying to sound chill while (almost) soundlessly dumping his disguises into his cabinet, kicking weapons under his bed, and taking down case photos linked with thread and pinned to his headboard, all while Tam’s back is still to him* You have no idea.
Why the Batman’s never flying commercial with any of his sons again…
Jason: *chucking the menu for first class at the seat behind him* How many beers can we order at once?
Flight attendant: I’m not sure… No one’s ever asked that.
Bruce: *at the seat behind Jason* Hrrrn.
“Battle for the Cowl” AU be like…
Tim: You know what, Dick? You shouldn’t be making these decisions anyway, okay? You’re not the decision-making type. As the brains of this family, I should have made this decision.
Dick: Hey, whoa, whoa, I’m sorry. Since when did you become the brains?
Tim: Uhh… I’m sorry? I’ve always been the brains.
Dick: What?! What are you talking about? I thought I was the brains. What the heck am I?
Tim: You’re the looks.
Dick: Well, yeah, of course I’m the looks. But I always thought of myself as the brains and the looks.
Tim: No, you’re the looks, I’m the brains, and Jason is the wildcard.
Nightwing: You had a bad shoulder and that’s why you could never play catch with me while I was Robin, right?
Batman: Riiiiiight.
Red Hood: *trying to catch his breath* Roy, you texted me “911”! What’s the emergency?!
Arsenal: *holding up a picture of Red Hood and Bizarro at a superhero party together* Uh, well, our friendship’s in danger!
At a Wayne Foundation gala…
Dick: *talking animatedly*
Jason:
Dick: *laughing hysterically at his own joke*
Jason:
Dick: *wiping tears off his eyes*
Jason: Are you wearing make-up?
Dick: I’m always wearing a little bit of foundation, but that’s not the point.
Speculating about Batman’s powers while on Watchtower monitor duty..
Green Lantern: *sketching on a tablet he conjured up* Hey, Wal? What if he can smell crime?
The Flash: *speed-typing a report for Batman* … What if he smells crime, Kyle?
Green Lantern: Dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude! What if he can smell crime before it even happens?
The Flash: Dude, that’s amazing… Smells crime before it even happens. Yes, dude!
Green Lantern: WHAT IF HIS ENTIRE HEAD IS JUST ONE BIG NOSE? Write that down, I like that.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Batman: *in a space ship somewhere in the Solar System, listening in via the comms* Hnn.
Taking your crush on a tour of the Manor be like…
Tam: *walking slowly around Tim’s bedroom and checking out posters of obscure rock bands on the walls*
Tam: *smirking* You know, you’re weird.
Tim: *trying to sound chill while (almost) soundlessly dumping his disguises into his cabinet, kicking weapons under his bed, and taking down case photos linked with thread and pinned to his headboard, all while Tam’s back is still to him* You have no idea.
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