Visiting your best friend’s hometown be like…
Arsenal: *on the phone* Dude, I need help finding this place –
Red Hood: Follow the gunshots.
Arsenal: Copy that.
Tag: source: hawaii five-o
Wally: Dude, I can’t meet you for lunch today.
Dick: That’s good. Because I think I’ve run out of sandwich ideas.
Commissioner Gordon: *throws his hands up in frustration* It’s a theory!
Batman: *crouching on a gargoyle* It’s my gut.
Commissioner Gordon: Does your gut have any evidence we can bring to a prosecutor?
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Don’t believe him, Jim. “Gut” actually stands for “I’ve done all the research humanly possible for this particular matter and I don’t have time to explain all of it to you right now. Plus, I really prefer to keep my work a secret.”
Because it’s canon that Batman keeps journals (and that he’s deeply in love)…
Clark: The part where you and Selina met. It’s right out of a twisted, vigilante rom-com.
Bruce: Yes. I believe they call it a “meet cute”.
At the Watchtower…
Batman and Superman: *watching footage of Nightwing fighting a horde of alien assassins in Blüdhaven*
Batman:
Batman: *walks away*
Superman: Where are you going? Dick needs our help.
Batman: He will be fine.
Superman: How do you know?
Batman: Because I trained him.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Batman, internally: Also, Clark, what makes you think that I’m not walking away to speak with Alfred in private and ask him to round up my other children to come help out their big brother, my eldest son?
When asked if they ever get scared of Batman…
(Basically every) Robin: I’m scared all right. I’m scared of not measuring up.
Kory: *horrified, with her palms still smoking* I’m sorry I almost killed you.
Dick: *heart eyes* That’s all right. I need to be more careful next time.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
And all he had been trying to do was tickle her from behind as she prepared breakfast for them, Rachel and Gar.
Wally: *instantly regretful of his word-vomit* I gotta bribe you to keep you quiet?
Dick: I don’t call it a bribe. I call it cereal.
Red Robin [on the comm link]: *hacking into the security cameras of the warehouse to keep an eye out for Jason* You’re in danger.
Red Hood: *dodging a samurai sword from behind him by a half an inch* Thanks, buddy. I just figured that out.
The Signal: *feeling dejected after receiving “The Talk” from Batman after a mission gone awry*
Nightwing: *putting a comforting arm on his shoulder* Hey, don’t listen to Bruce.
Red Hood: *opening a bottle of beer using a batarang lying around* We don’t.
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